but i don't think i'm ever gonna lose the bichir feel!
If you have a pair, they will chase everyone around. That's true with almost all fish. If you have two of the same gender, there is no guarantee that you won't have problems, but I've had males together in the past with no problem at all.
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grey bichirs only get a foot.I would say 4 is deff too much for a 55, you have to consider that some bichirs alone can grow to be over 24", add to that a catfish and 4 moderately sized cichlids and the bio load alone is going to have you doing daily water changes
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