The amount of sh#t life gives makes me wanna quit living..

[rbwno1]

Life has been chaotic lately. I’ll keep this short and skip over the family background, fights, and mental stress—I just want to move past it all.
In short, my dad got a call from the landlord’s lawyer saying he was about to file a case against him for not paying rent for five months. The only way to stop it was to pay the full amount immediately. My dad, stuck in legal issues for years, hasn’t had a proper job, so our family has often struggled financially, borrowing from friends and relatives, mostly from my mom’s brothers.

The apartment was under one of my mom’s brothers’ names because my dad couldn’t rent it himself due to legal complications. When my dad told my uncles about the situation, my younger uncle (I’ll just call him Jake) panicked because the case would be against him. Despite being frustrated with my dad and having lent him a lot of money, Jake immediately contacted the landlord and paid the rent. However, we were given just a week to vacate the apartment.
This situation only happened because my dad recently took a job at a company, but they couldn’t transfer his salary since he didn’t have a bank account. It took time to open the account and for his salary to arrive. Luckily, it has now come through, and we’re finally getting back on our feet.
That week was a nightmare. My siblings, mom, and I returned home from my aunt’s house. My mom and I were in shock, and Jake was furious, refusing to talk to us. To make things worse, my siblings and I got sick, delaying the apartment search. My dad’s car was broken, and he couldn’t afford to repair it or hire a taxi. Plus, he couldn’t rent a new place under his name because of his legal issues, and my uncles refused to help.
When the moving day arrived, we still hadn’t found a new place. My dad and a kind man helping him search for apartments were out all day. Meanwhile, my mom and I stayed up for three nights straight packing. The man offered to temporarily store our furniture and arranged for trucks to help us move, which was a relief.

Despite everyone’s efforts, we couldn’t secure a place. My uncle Jake managed to convince the landlord to give us one extra day, but the pressure was unbearable. By the deadline, I was exhausted from packing and still had to deal with moving my fish. I quickly packed them into doubled trash bags inside cardboard boxes, filled them with water, and sealed them with tape, hoping they’d survive.
As night fell, my dad finally found an apartment. My uncle Jake paid the rent and took it under his name after being convinced by his older brother. I refused to leave without my fish. My dad called the movers to make another trip, but they handled the boxes roughly, and I had no choice but to let them take the fish. We finally left the apartment with the remaining items, arriving at the new place late at night.
The new apartment was tiny and chaotic, filled to the ceiling with furniture and boxes. The movers refused to arrange the furniture and left my fish boxes on the terrace. Beyond exhaustion, I rushed to check the fish, finding them barely alive after six hours in bags. I quickly changed their water, aerated it, and set up their tanks as best as I could. By morning, I was physically spent.
Over the next few days, I worked on stabilizing the situation. Thankfully, the fish are now recovering, except for one walking catfish that didn’t survive. Just the other day, I managed to set up the pond. I’ve also organized the apartment and started focusing on my studies again. There’s still a lot of work left, but I’m slowly getting back on track.

While I usually don’t share my household problems, I felt the need to this time because of how it affected my fish, my physical and mental state, and how terrible it all was. Life can throw curveballs in different ways, even when you’re not expecting it. I’ve cut out many other details that made this even harder and focused on the main points, hoping this will help people realize the importance of being prepared for any situation—especially for their pets. They are sentient beings, and we took them into our custody, so it’s our responsibility to ensure their safety no matter what.

It's good to vent and get it out of your system. I hope things turn around for you and your family.

 

[Ogertron3000]

Sounds like a tough time for sure, at least things are stable now.
Unfortunately life throws crap like this our way from time to time, as you have learned (the hard way) you get through it eventually, a little tireder, stronger and wiser hopefully. Its always good to get things off your chest, even if its just on a fish forum.
How is your dad doing, it must have been a very hard thing for him to go through too.

 

[abominus]

Thanks for the support, everyone—I really needed it. I always thought my problems were mine alone, and I was hesitant to share them here. Like I said, this was just one of many challenges I’ve faced in my life, but this one nearly brought me to my breaking point. It was especially hard since my two older siblings, who are usually there to help, weren’t around this time, which made it even more difficult.

As for the fish—thank you again, everyone. It was an enormous task to wind up the pond within just an hour or two. I was particularly worried about my larger fish, especially the pacu, which barely survived the trip. The RTC is still stressed and very pale, but the midas cichlids and pacu seem to be adjusting—they’ve even started eating a little. I need to work on the new filtration and drainage/filling systems, as I had to leave all of that behind just to save the fish.

When my mom told me to leave them behind, it brought tears to my eyes—and I’m not someone who tears up easily. She had almost given up hope, so I packed everything myself. Oh, and I forgot to mention—I also had to pack and transport my 12 budgies and a pet duck. It wasn’t easy, but for the record, they’re all safe and sound. I had to leave behind a lot of my belongings, but between my stuff and my pets, I think it was worth it.

Cancer attacks and brings me back to reality. It's been a struggle ever since.

I’m so sorry to hear that, Jexnell . My mom’s a doctor, and she always says cancer is one of the most painful things for anyone to endure. I hope you find the strength to keep fighting through it.

(and stay in school!)

No school for me, ken31cay . I’ve been homeschooling since I was in 3rd grade, around 8 years old. And by homeschooling, I mean no online tutors or teachers—just books and the internet. That’s part of why I don’t have friends who could’ve helped me out during this.

You got this and more. Don't worry too much. If you got to this point, you can make it over the next obstacle.

Also, writing this crap down is cathartic. Anytime it feels like it’s getting too much, get back on here and spill your guts. We will read and have your back. You are not bothering anyone by sharing here. Problems shared are problems halved. If people don't like it, they can find a different thread.

Thanks, cockroach . Your words really hit me. Given the circumstances, I’ve always felt like I needed to grow up and deal with these things without wimping out, but it’s been so long since I’ve let out my frustration. I had to let it out here, and I’m glad I did. Oh, and I haven’t forgotten about your request for those budgie pics—I’ll share them soon!

Sounds like a tough time for sure, but at least things are stable now.

Unfortunately, life throws crap like this our way from time to time. As you’ve learned (the hard way), you get through it eventually—a little more tired, stronger, and wiser, hopefully. It’s always good to get things off your chest, even if it’s just on a fish forum.

How is your dad doing? It must have been a very hard thing for him to go through too.

Thanks, Ogertron3000 . I usually avoid talking about my dad, but here it is. He’s a complicated person with a twisted mentality, and I’ve never really understood him. He’s always kept a distance from us, and as we grew up, that distance only grew wider. His mentality and mistakes are what led to this situation and the constant fights between him and my mom. He’s the kind of person who doesn’t share much and maintains a stoic, stern character.

However, the day before the deadline, my uncle Jake confronted him, saying he’d lose everything—including us—and even threatened to have him jailed. My dad told his father and brother about the situation, but they said they couldn’t help since they live in a poor country and have their own struggles. For the first time in my life, I saw my dad tear up, which made me believe there’s still some good in him after all. It’s the same reason my mom did everything she could to prevent the inevitable.

He’s doing better now and seems more comfortable, especially since his two months’ salary has finally arrived and his family is still with him. I’m hoping for a real change because it’s been too long with constant family infighting. I just want a better life for everyone. If he keeps working and earning at this pace, we should be out of our 8-year-long legal issues within a year or so.

 

[ken31cay]

No school for me, ken31cay . I’ve been homeschooling since I was in 3rd grade, around 8 years old. And by homeschooling, I mean no online tutors or teachers—just books and the internet. That’s part of why I don’t have friends who could’ve helped me out during this.

I trust that your Mom, being who she is, has the knowledge to properly guide you to go very far in your education. In that respect I would say you are very fortunate, as compared to so many others in the world. Being thankful is a useful tool. It doesn't suddenly make everything all better but it can can lift you up just enough at the times you really need it, to make it through to better days.

I remember being at one of my lows at 32 years old after my J-Pouch surgery (Ileoanal anastomosis) due to years of Ulcerative Colitis. I was sent home with an ileostomy and was told 'get used to living with it' in case my J-Pouch did not heal optimally and I would then need to make that situation my new normal (with the ileostomy/ and external bag).

My wife was fine with it all but it left me with a pit in my stomach thinking about the possibility. Making the effort to be thankful certainly helped me at that time. There is always someone less fortunate than you; for me at that time I thought about being thankful I had my legs and could walk, whereas there are many who cannot do that.

Thankfully my story ended well; my J-Pouch was a success and they did the take-down (removed the ileostomy) 8 weeks later to the day. And I've been fine ever since, now 23 years later.

 

[Parka]

abominus , you are so resourceful, I already knew that. You have more strength than you even realize. Listen, Young Friend, it hurts now but you will become stronger simply by not giving up. Stay strong and grow stronger!

 

[altums85]

Tough time creates strong men.