Tough being a 1st Generation MFK

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Spiritofthesoul

Jack Dempsey
MFK Member
Dec 3, 2010
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Singapore
Being a 1st generation MFK is tough. My dad owns a 30 gallon aquarium and didn't know a thing about the nitrogen cycle. He also did not understand the purpose of filtration and did not plan on getting one. Fortunatey I have a spare canister filter and offered to set it up for him claiming it would keep the water clean, which is kind of true. He didn't know what bioballs and ceramic rings are used for so I just told him they trap out the debris in the tank. Nevertheless, he did agree for me to install the canister (bless the fishes). He scolded me for buying Seachem matrix, asking me why I was buying stones at such prices when he has so much in his flowerpots.

He also do not research on the fish he is keeping. He keeps a bunch of clown loaches, a black ghost knife fish and a common pleco. All of them are juveniles now but I know they won't be able to live in his 20 gallon for life. I advised him and he said they won't grow until there isn't space left for them to swim in. I quietly thought to myself "Of course they won't grow, they would already be dead." But nonetheless, i gave up trying to get him to exchange them for smaller fishes.

My mum and dad also didn't see the point of doing water change. To them as long as the water looks clear, there isn't a requirement for water changes. My dad did a waterchange like once every 2 month, and when he does, its a 100% waterchange. He also rinsed the gravel in boiling water to kill of any bacteria (beneficial bacteria) in the tank. I had to secretly do waterchanges for him when he is out at work and pour a cup of gravel from my tank into his each time he cleans the gravel to seed it, hopefully speeding up the cycle.

My mum's been complaining about my frequent water changes too, saying I got an expensive filter, an FX5, so why bother changing the water. She obviously did not know about ammonia, nitrites and nitrates and didn't look like she was interested so i promised her to change my water once a month. But i still changed it every week when she was working and skipped a day or two on bathing every week to ensures the water bill do not rise or she would get suspicious and start complaining again.

I wonder if any of you are 1st generation MFK keepers and experience similar problems as mine. I know that the majority of you have parents who are into fish keeping and do not have the problem I have. I hope in the future, to bring the hobby of fish keeping to my children and understand everything they do so that the whole family could truly enjoy fish keeping. The purpose of this thread is not to rant on my parents but to share my experience of being the first person in the family who really knows about fish keeping. I know that they ain't really into fishkeeping and I can't really blame them for not knowing something they don't care. It may be a tough road ahead of me, but i hope to get a 400 gallon when i move out.
 
its tough i know this for sure. My father thinks toping off his tank is the same as a water change. if a fish dies change the filter pad. everytime you try to explain somthing to him it was always "ive kept fish since i was your age and we never had to do that". Dont even get me started on the once yearly "your supposed to clean the tank by taking everything out." But for me, the worst is "this fish only grow to the size of the tank." He also thinks since the filter is rated for a 55gallon tank its WAYYYYYY over filtering his 45. He thinks im crazy for having 2 hob rated for 70 and 2 eheim 2217 on my 55. He also thinks a fish living for years is impossible. yet he had a 20year old jewel cichlid:screwy:


People dont see fish as pets. Dogs, cats sure they are pets but fish nope.
 
As far as I know my parents have never had an aquarium :) I am a first generation MFK but am on my own :)

Kinda would be cool if my parents were into fish keeping..
 
I am a 2nd generation MFK my mom and dad had fish when they were my age and still do... :D
 
I have to say my parents complain about water usage and electricity, but since I try to do a 50% water change on the 600 once a week, as well as having multiple tanks with numerous pumps filters and heaters running both complaints are probably justified.
 
Wait, I don't really see you trying to explain anything to them. Instead of doing stuff behind their back, just let their fish die then explain to them why they died instead of prolonging the situation. Tell them that there is more to biology than "if the water is clear, then it is fine."

My grandfather was a member at a local fish club. He used to breed angels and raise other staple fish that were available back in the day. He doesn't really know too much about aquariums and doesn't really do water changes. My uncle has a tank that is lightly stocked, but he also does water changes every 2-3 months. My aunt has a tank and she is more interested, but misguided. She thinks she has to adjust the pH for the fish and adds baking soda to the water and doesn't really do water changes since nitrates and ammonia is really low and the pH is fine (according to the books, but not to our local water).

My dad also used to keep tanks and actually got into reefs. I think he knows a bit about aquarium keeping.

Anyways, I think a majority of us are 1st generation MFKers. With the internet, information because so much more available to all of us. Not to mention, few hobbyists are really into fish keeping enough to read about it. Most hobbyists still don't want to learn and expect everything to go their way.
 
Haha glad to know some of you have the same problems as I do. I don't explain to them because I know in my heart, 90% of what I said won't get through to them. :(
 
Spiritofthesoul;4729106; said:
Haha glad to know some of you have the same problems as I do. I don't explain to them because I know in my heart, 90% of what I said won't get through to them. :(
So you don't even bother to try? :screwy: Don't complain about the condition he's keeping his fish in if you're not even willing to explain to him what he's doing wrong and how/why to fix it.
 
Industrial;4728889; said:
Wait, I don't really see you trying to explain anything to them. Instead of doing stuff behind their back, just let their fish die then explain to them why they died instead of prolonging the situation. Tell them that there is more to biology than "if the water is clear, then it is fine.".
I don't know about you but, my father would be steamed beyond words if I tried to explain anything he thought he understood, at least untill the last few years (29, live a few states away). It falls under the catagory of "back talking".
I sneaked about A LOT as a kid, because parents do not want to be contradicted by their teenage children. Proudly in my case it was mostly drugs fueled parties ;) that he was mostly right about.
You could try giving your dad a good book on fishkeeping...but, most people will only listen to things that agree with what they already feel. Look at politics. Might help though.
Don't get caught kid! and good luck on growing up, getting independent, and finding yourself in a position to get that 400g. :3
 
pharmaecopia;4728838; said:
I have to say my parents complain about water usage and electricity, but since I try to do a 50% water change on the 600 once a week, as well as having multiple tanks with numerous pumps filters and heaters running both complaints are probably justified.


the fact they let you get a 600 is insanity in the first place. haha
 
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