U GOT JOKES?

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A lady goes to her priest and tells him...Father, "i have a problem"."I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing".."What do they say" the priest inquires?"
They say "Hi, We are hookers... "Do you want to have some fun??"...
"Thats Obscene"!!!, "the preist exclaimed".. then he thought for a moment...
"You Know "he said I may have an answer to your problem"...I have two male parrots which i have taught to pray and read the bible........
"Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.....my parrots will teach your parrots to praise and workship in no time...
"Thank You" the women responded..... "this may very well be the solution"
The next day she brought her parrots to the priest's house... As he ushered her in..... she saw his two parrots inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying........
"Impressed she walked over and placed her parrots in with them, after a few minutes the female parrots cried out...............
" Hi, We're Hookers".........."want to have some fun?" There was stunned silence shocked, one male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaimed.................................................................................
"Put your beads away Frank" "Our prayers have been answered"!!!:D
 
You may have to deal with this when you get older...

The trials and tribulations of senior ciizenship...:ROFL:

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:

"Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing.
Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand,
then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth,
first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing.


We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too,
first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried
squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open." :ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL:
 
JuanTamad;955472; said:
You may have to deal with this when you get older...

The trials and tribulations of senior ciizenship...:ROFL:

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:

"Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing.
Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand,
then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth,
first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing.


We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too,
first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried
squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open." :ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL:
Click to expand...

:ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL:
 
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