What to do with your fish when YOU die
- Thread starter pstennett
- Start date
Hello; I made that comment and I do agree with your speculation except for the no blame part. To me if you make a deal then you try to keep your end of it. I get that some heirs might only want the property and/or money it represents. But if they were to accept the property with it understood there are strings attached then killing off the fish is a wrong thing.
Point of clarity. I do not know the heirs at all. The OP does and has a notion of their character.
My situation is pretty straight forward. I do not have anyone at all to count on if I still have tanks set up when I pass. It could take days or even weeks before anyone found me if I suddenly passed at home. Especially now with the virus. My tanks are set up with very low stocking density and could go a long time without attention so someone might get to them in time. If I wound up in the hospital or nursing home then there might be a chance for me to at least try to get the fish to a new home.
Obviously, you're being thoughtful about this. Imo all anyone can do is suggest ideas or options, no one here has the right determine what your priorities, directives, or conditions of inheritance should be. I have no doubts that you know that, it's the rest of us that need to respect those boundaries.
The two thoughts that come to my mind are 1) to make some provision for an aquarium maintenance service to care for the tank and fish or 2) donate the fish to a public aquarium or other organization capable of caring for them. If the fish are cared for, maybe the aquarium itself doesn't absolutely have to be moved?
Spectacular tank, by the way.
The two thoughts that come to my mind are 1) to make some provision for an aquarium maintenance service to care for the tank and fish or 2) donate the fish to a public aquarium or other organization capable of caring for them. If the fish are cared for, maybe the aquarium itself doesn't absolutely have to be moved?
Spectacular tank, by the way.
When referring to not blaming anyone, I meant that everyone would have so much to gain by this nefarious act that picking just one to blame would be difficult, since all would have motive. These people would not have "made a deal" with anyone; rather, they would have been dictated terms by a person arrogant enough to decide that he/she insisted on continuing to control people and events from beyond the grave.
I've been an executor; I know first-hand the stresses and pressures created within a family that has already suffered a loss, and then receives another body-blow when something like this scenario occurs. Tensions build to way beyond the breaking point; arguments and disagreements that may have germinated in years or decades past are dragged up and sprout anew; the executor is somehow "to blame" for everything. Forcing one's heirs into this unpleasant situation is not being fair to them, it's just kicking them when they are already at their lowest point.
In the case of the OP, the heirs already have the estate to divide among themselves, and it will be a literal miracle if all of them agree to maintaining the status quo. It's much more likely that at least one or more will want a cash buyout, quite likely forcing the sale unless the others can afford to pay. There will be a lot of arguing and unpleasantness even without the added and...let's be honest...ridiculous complication of a fish being the primary beneficiary.
Is the suggestion being made that the estate pay for the ongoing services of a veterinarian to watch over the interests of the fish, making sure that it is kept happy and healthy and suffers no attempts on its life? This will make a great sitcom-noir; I'd watch all three episodes that manage to be aired before the show is cancelled. I vote for Eddie Murphy to play the vet. No, wait...Eddie Murphy can be the next-door neighbour who is roped into the role of executor...the vet could be played by Will Farrell...
If the OP sets up everything ahead of time with Ohio Fish Rescue (for example...) then everyone's interests, including those of the fish, are being best served and in the most sensitive and thoughtful manner, with no additional stress to anyone.
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Hello; I think we two are much on the same page. I also have been an executor and never will be again. When my mother asked me to take care of her estate I agreed only if she revised her will so things were spelled out in more detail. Even with that the process became bitter. I can picture the scene playing out as you describe.
Sorry if my comment on blame seemed to be a criticism of you. Such was not my intention. To be more clear I guess I was making an abstract observation more than a challenge. My apology.
I also do not think it is workable to try to force our will onto others from beyond the grave. I have had this conversation with a friend of my age (mid 70's) who cannot stand the thought his children will change his property after he passes. Both have already pointedly moved far away, one several states away. They will sell off all his cars and antique furniture is my guess. Maybe keep a car or a piece or two.
No apology required, but thanks for clarifying.
You should tell your friend that if he doesn't want anything to change after he's gone...then he'd better not go. If his children have "pointedly" moved away now, then applying a few more thumbscrews to them after his passing will certainly not warm their feelings at all...but simply leaving them an estate to utilize as they see fit might do so.
I can certainly see the concern where living pets...dogs, cats, birds, fish...are caught up in this type of mess, and would personally make sure they were taken care of. The rest of that stuff...just like my stuff and your stuff...is just stuff...
You should tell your friend that if he doesn't want anything to change after he's gone...then he'd better not go. If his children have "pointedly" moved away now, then applying a few more thumbscrews to them after his passing will certainly not warm their feelings at all...but simply leaving them an estate to utilize as they see fit might do so.
I can certainly see the concern where living pets...dogs, cats, birds, fish...are caught up in this type of mess, and would personally make sure they were taken care of. The rest of that stuff...just like my stuff and your stuff...is just stuff...
A year ago I proposed a similar question, here is the thread.
www.monsterfishkeepers.com
Do yall have a plan?
A few days ago I was so sick I couldn't walk without having to worry about blowing from either end let alone do a water change and it got me to thinking, what will I do if I become so sick I can't maintain my fish tanks for a period of time? Now I present all of you with a question. Do any of...
www.monsterfishkeepers.com
I guess this is probably the only solution if we would like to see the house used for future generation. One of the nieces is married with children and we are inclined to leave the house and an aquarium maintenance stipend to her with all other assets we now own split between the remaining 3 nieces.
Thanks for your input...it makes the most sense.
