when to give up?

[ewok]

ok so in my previous thread, i thought i had cleared a major hurdle with this girl i've been seeing. i thought we worked out the stuff and could just proceed. we both agreed to slow things down a bit and just see where things go. i was ok with that so proceeded as such.
yesterday she asked me if i wanted to go to ikea, so we ended up going. i picked her up, went to ikea and was having a blast. i knew it was that time of the month for her, and she also told me that the previous day she strained her back muscle pretty badly. i kept that in the back of my mind and was careful in making sure she was comfortable etc.
so on the way to dinner, we were laughing and eating cookies, when all of a sudden she stopped talking to me. i was like...mmm what's up? was getting some one word responses and no eye contact.
after trying a few times to get her to tell me what was going on i just gave up and ate dinner in silence. on the drive home i asked her three different ways if she was in pain, she was ok, if she was SURE nothing was wrong. she said it was ok, she just didnt feel like talking. we stopped by cvs pharmacy on the way home and she picked up stuff. i dropped her off and she wouldnt let me help her carry some stuff back to her place. fine. whatever i just drove home thinking it was a bad case of pms.

today, i send her this message asking if she's ok. she just said 'we're very different'. so of course i was like what does that mean? so we talked and basically as far as i can read it, some of my actions made her feel negatively. i swear to god i was in a great mood and all that until she stopped talking. of course i felt somewhat sad and maybe a bit offended, so i told her when i am around her, i feel that she brings out the best in me, or made me want to be a better person. if she feels negatively based off how i behave is there really any point in continuing to find that common ground for us to move forward on. i had a meeting to go to after that, so i just left it at that.

i'm not sure what to feel now to be honest. i really want to like her, but it's almost like she doesnt want to give me that chance?

what do you think...? yes, another portion of my never ending saga...

 

[JakeH]

Back off & chill for a week. She'll be in heat for a few days after shes done, so make yourself available but let her initiate the contact. Oh...and stop talking! done went & dug yourself another dang hole boy...

 

[cjfrontlovr]

relationship is already a ton of work..move on, it will never change with the 2 of you..it'll always be difficult and no fun..end it now and find another your more compatible with..

 

[thesquishy]

sounds to me like she just wants to be friends. You guys were having a great time until she realized how much fun she was having with you, then got quiet because she felt guilty that she doesnt have feelings for you the same as you do for her...she wanted to try and see if you two could be friends but ur making it hard for her because you want it to be more. I dont get the whole negative remark she said...maybe shes trying to push you away, make you end it so she doesnt have to...Move on there are so many other great girls out there who will love you for you dont give up on that and ditch this girl...........just my 2cents....good luck

 

[alexheath]

hey
im sorry to hear about your troubled relationship i think you should chill for a week and send her a text then see what things are like then make the decisions but thats what i would do. its your choice, i hope it all works out.
can you keep me posted

 

[ewok]

well i think things are pretty much over...
we were online chatting a bit (always a bad idea when it comes to this stuff). in any case she got angry and logged off.

i get the feeling she was telling me all this stuff about us being different etc. so i take the hint and end things... which i guess things ended up that way.

i just feel really confused and tired now... gonna take a nap to clear my head.

 

[cichlaguapote]

Honestly.. good advice so far. Cut your losses. You work together, if you can still be friends then be just friends. Girls do some strange things. Sometimes they know what they want, sometimes they don't. But move on, date a little elsewhere, get some dating experiance, meet people, etc. If things are mean't to work out later between you then they will. Don't sweat it too much for now.

 

[gobucks1]

Good to hear it's practically over.

Sounds like you were bugging about this the whole time. Seems like it was more stress than it was worth for you.

Just flat out end it now man. You'll wake up in a few days and not have to stress about this crap. You'll be way happy you did it in no time.

There's other fish in the sea.

 

[cichlid2006]

i had a woman like that once, good fun one minute then the ice queen the next. i gave her everything and she would go into a mood for no reason and i would get one word answers. as a muppet i kept going back to. i wasted almost 2 years of my life on her as we were on and off.

cut your losses mate, its not worth it. you will find a girl just right for you and its obvious it isnt her. you will know when its right, fun nearly all the time with little hassle.

 

[Natural_Born_Killer]

Firstly, sorry about your very complicated situation. I am going to give you a blunt reply, so please don't take offense.

I am dating my boss, we have been together now for two years. When we first started dating we were both somewhat hesitant because of the pressure it would bring to the work place. This is probably one thing that she is thinking about. Even two years later we still feel the effect of us being a couple on our actual jobs.

On the other side, the girl seems to be one of those that likes to play games. There are women out there who just like to tease men... give them the mixed messages as they do the "be mean to keep them keen" logic. This sounds like one of those situations. That plus the fact that you work with each other makes it even more complicated.

If I was you, just cut it off.

The best way to see how she really feels is stop playing her game. If she still comes back for more and you play along you are just adding fuel to the fire. She'll either become more genuine and appreciate you, or she'll get bored after a while that your not playing and move on.

Good luck.