you talk to people everyday and never think about the things they've been through
I'll start
I got married in '04, wife got pregnant a few months after. It was our first baby. Four months in, we go to the ultra sound, they saw something, sent us to a specialist and informed us of the baby's condition.
You are supposed to be happy and excited when you have your first kid but that was not the case with us after that. We wouldn't abort and hoped for a miracle. The time came and she was born and only lived 15 days, she was on a respirator the whole time and had tubes in her the whole time. The day she passed, they took all the tubes off her and for the first time we can hold her without all the stuff attached to her. we held her back and forth and she took her last breath in my wife's arms. Those memories at the NICU will be with me until the day i'm gone.
I only ever brought her flowers once when visiting her. The first time I was at a flower shop, the cashier says, "awe how pretty, who are they for?" I cried right in front of her and said they were for my daughter I was gonna go visit at the cemetary. The second time I was at a grocery store looking at flowers and I started crying in the store and walked out. It's too painful to go picking flowers so that was the last time I ever attemped. She would be 6 this summer.
for two years i cried everyday on my commute to work. you know that cartoon where it's sunny out but there's this one guy with a dark cloud over him and only him and it's pouring on him? that's one way i can describe it. anyways, I can't put in words to describe what it all felt like, but I realized now with kids of my own that you never loved anyone until you have kids. it's stronger than my love for my wife or my own mother
that is all. sorry for the long read
feel free to share
I'll start
I got married in '04, wife got pregnant a few months after. It was our first baby. Four months in, we go to the ultra sound, they saw something, sent us to a specialist and informed us of the baby's condition.
You are supposed to be happy and excited when you have your first kid but that was not the case with us after that. We wouldn't abort and hoped for a miracle. The time came and she was born and only lived 15 days, she was on a respirator the whole time and had tubes in her the whole time. The day she passed, they took all the tubes off her and for the first time we can hold her without all the stuff attached to her. we held her back and forth and she took her last breath in my wife's arms. Those memories at the NICU will be with me until the day i'm gone.
I only ever brought her flowers once when visiting her. The first time I was at a flower shop, the cashier says, "awe how pretty, who are they for?" I cried right in front of her and said they were for my daughter I was gonna go visit at the cemetary. The second time I was at a grocery store looking at flowers and I started crying in the store and walked out. It's too painful to go picking flowers so that was the last time I ever attemped. She would be 6 this summer.
for two years i cried everyday on my commute to work. you know that cartoon where it's sunny out but there's this one guy with a dark cloud over him and only him and it's pouring on him? that's one way i can describe it. anyways, I can't put in words to describe what it all felt like, but I realized now with kids of my own that you never loved anyone until you have kids. it's stronger than my love for my wife or my own mother
that is all. sorry for the long read
feel free to share
