as do you. this is a problem that has become far too personal to be worth continuing on mfk.
your on your way to depression too if you try to hard to muscle this situation out. your being dragged from a rope on the back of a pickup at this point. the longer you hold onto it, the longer you'l burn. why hasn't he stopped the truck? why is he still driving away? why are you still holding the rope?
he's trying to keep his mind off of something. you even told him so. we are here to sympathize with you. but being biased on a forum where we all love fish, theres alot of grey opinion. examine yourself as well. how / why would he be locked in with his fish more than you? adapt and change are the only way out. and it will end with one. either way, your burning yourself in this situation the way you are.
Note I said there are thing WE all need to fix... WE meaning me as well. I know there are things I need to work on, and I am working on them. But as I said before things don't happen overnight. Yes, adapt and change is the only way out.. but as the saying was said on here "you can't have your cake and eat it too..." Well, you can't eat a cake you don't have.
I am not saying that I want the the fish to be gone... I want the fish to be his hobby again, and not an obsession.
At what point does a hobby become an obsession? Many of you think it's deep appreciation for the hobby is what he's doing.. but what is he was gambling on horse races instead of buying fish... would you call it an obsession then? Just because it's in another form doesn't mean anything.
I don't believe in just giving up. Just throwing the towel in and being done.. It's like my viewpoint on marriage. I personally don't believe in Divorce UNLESS you have exhausted all of your options (counseling, separationg etc) and you still can not get along- unless kids are involved, then it's all about doing what's best for them. But anyways.. I also think that a bump in the road no matter how big shouldn't be given up on without reason and effort. Too many people just up and leave, and then they are back and forth constantly.. why not just deal with the hard times and make it work. Save yourself some time.
Yes, I am emotionally exhausted from trying to find out way to get my point across, but thinking about it.. maybe it's not me that needs to get the point across... maybe it's him. Maybe he needs to work on something that I don't know about.. That I can't fix.
Regardless of anything, the major bump with my issue is the fish obsession. I would feel better if he at least gave me the 2 hours after work to just relax on the couch with me, or watch tv.. I am not expecting him to be some super cuddly moochy kissy face guy. I just enjoy the presence of his company.
And I am sure than any one in a long term relationship would understand this. It's not about the content of the company, but the company itself.
But, in the even that someone can give me more ideas, I will listen to them all. Stop with the "then why are you with him.. there are other issues... blah blah.." because there aren't any on my end that I know of.
