thanks everyone. i moved the divider and gave the female 2/3 of the tank and added a pot. put flat rock next to the divider just in case. ill prolly leave it this way for a couple weeks and then maybe try the gate method fwp mentioned so i dont have to get in the tank to pull the divider. really appreciate all the replies and ill keep updated on the progress. the female already appears to be more comfortable with more space.