Bullying and Repercussions

[skjl47]

Hello; Having taught in public schools I have witnessed many forms of verbal and physical bulling. Bullied students have stayed home from school if they could. When they have to attend the experience was often miserable. For those of you that had the ability to fight back it may not seem much of an issue.
My observation was that bullies mainly chose their victims from among the physically weaker or financially worse off. The ball players, popular kids and well off kids were seldom targets. Some of the ball players were bullies in my experience.
For a time the physical bullies could be dealt with in the school setting. By the time I retired schools were out of control and teachers had litte and often no means for dealing with the bullies. There was a period of time when my middle school students could play anywhere on the school grounds as long as they were in sight. I and the other teachers could deal wit the bullies and put a stop to it. As our discipline tools were taken away the presence of teachers did not stop the bullies. The smaller more timid children would huddle near me during recess afraid to venture far. They were on their own somewhat during class changes as i had to be on one area. I suppose an argument can be made that small, timid children somehow ask to be bullied because they are not able of willing to fight back, but I doubt that I can be convinced.
Verbal or emotional bullies are a harder nut to crack. In addition there are more new ways to do it mow on the electronics we have. It no longer has to be face to face.
One side note. I learned on this thread how the ignore function operates. A member that I put on my ignore list has posted. I do not see the post but a notice shows up saying the member has done so. I have options to view the post if I wish, but will not waste my time.

 

[Inglorious]

^ I agree completely. It was a little different when I was in school and teachers could do something to stop bullying, but now, as I've found out with my stepson, the bullies now are being protected more than those who are bullied. When the teachers and other school officials can't help, and when you get punished for protecting yourself, then you can feel like you have no other options than those that are extreme. I know of multiple cases where one student was surrounded my a group of larger, older students, and was being pushed and shoved back and forth for a number of minutes while being verbally harassed. In every case, the one being bullied eventually had enough and took a swing at one of the aggressors. The bullied student was then suspended, forced to spend a week at an alternate school, and had the threat of legal actions placed on them. The students who caused the incident got less than a slap on the wrist and were just told to not do it again.

 

[brockfishhawk]

I was bullied a lot in elementary always with "he is a queer" statement (completely straight). I took martial arts which I am thankful for because it taught me to turn the other cheak and how to deal with bullies. I played football and ran track and I always made friends with tougher people cause I was not so big or strong. Though one day a bully decided to follow me around most the day giving me s*** and pushing me around. He never saw it coming but when he grabbed me and tried to push me up against the lockers I went into instinct mode and quickly did a arm crossover move which left him defenseless and struck him 8-10 times in the face, backed off and stared at a moron standing with a bloody lip not knowing how the eff that just happened.

 

[petspoiler]

"..All that is necessary for the triumph of evil [bullies], is that good men do nothing.."

There are more of the peers who see and walk away, than there are bullies. Kids have lost the sense of responsibility to walk with the victim. They really outnumber bullies, and that would remove the audience which bullies enjoy.

When a grand daughter was targeted physically by a boy on the playground, we told the school staff it must stop and that if they didn't do it, there could be no consequences when she had to use self-defense.
Then grandpa coached her on how to successfully time, and deliver, nut kicks.
One day she had that boy on the ground, curled up & squalling. Principal was going to suspend her, but we had our ducks in a row with prior reporting.
Our g-daughter was called "that girl who kicked so-&-so in the nuts" for years. He would get a horrible look, even when he saw her in town.
He quit bullying others too. His peer audience's laughter about him was probably the best cure.

 

[aldiaz33]

Petspoiler- I like the quote and your story.

This thread reminds me of one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen at the annual Bay to Breakers event in SF...to set the scene with those not familiar with the event, Bay to Breakers is basically a day of debauchery...thousands of people dress up in random costumes and walk along a parade route from the bay side of San Francisco, to Ocean Beach, most of them drinking booze along the way.

So back to the story...

This little old homeless lady was hunched over her shopping cart that she was pushing along the street...it was overflowing with empty beer cans she had collected. A group of 3 punks are walking by and two of them decide to kick her cart over...cans go flying everywhere. The noise of a few hundred cans hitting the ground catches everyone's attention (there must have been a few hundred people, including myself that saw the whole thing go down).

The little old lady starts picking the cans up as the punks are laughing and continue walking along. But one guy in the crowd that saw it go down (a big dude, probably 6'7" and built like a tank) runs over to the 2 punks who kicked the cart and politely "asks" them to put every single can back in the homeless lady's cart. Big dude walks them back to the cart, rights the cart and folds his arms (like a boss) as he watches the punks put the cans back. Big dude makes them apologize and they all go on their way.

Long story short, bullies, punks, whatever you want to call them, suck. To rationalize their behavior as building character in their victims is absurd. Would you say that the 2 punks that kicked this poor lady's cart over were "building character" or helping her build a thicker skin? I don't believe in coddling anyone, but some behavior should not be permitted. Whether intervention from some authority figure or a swift kick to the nads is in order is a tough call and probably contingent on the situation.

 

[aaronb]

I have to agree with Alex. You guys suggesting bullying is ok, because it makes a person stronger don't make sense. If something bad has happened since the beginning of time you that isn't justification. If someone could learn something by being a victim doesn't justify it either.

That'd be like saying getting hit by a drunk driver would be ok, because it'd make you appreciate your life and be more cautious of other traffic.

Would you ever defend slavery by saying it would make the slaves stronger and more disciplined? I don't think so.

If you were bullied yourself you should want better for others.

If you grew up in an abusive home and ended up marrying someone who abused your kids would you not try and defend your kids and stop it? Would you say oh I think I'm a better person, because of the violence I endured, so it'll be good for them? I would hope not.

I'm glad that people can learn from their mistakes. Even if they're multi generational. I understand you might be turned off to the anti bullying campaign, because it's the "in" thing. It doesn't change what they're trying to do by stopping bullying from being a good thing.

 

[F1 VET]

I ALWAYS stick up for the little guy. Any time i saw someone get picked on or messed with id get in their face and tell them to **** off. Being 6'2" in middleschool they listened

 

[Allan01230]

Bullying is a seroius promblem with youth. Its no more get bullied stand up for yourself punch bully bullyingstops. I live in Detriot and unfortunately murder capital of the world again. Kids kill each other daily kill thier parents old people and also shoot and killl babies while they are at it. No kids are not soft nowadays they are killers with guns, sad to say but in Detriot the truth.

 

[bbortko]

It isn't that bullying is ok or that it makes you stronger so much as people used to be able to handle it better so that it didn't get out of hand as bad.

 

[golcondorus]

Interesting responses here. I don't know how old any of you are. I'm ten years out of high school, which I hated. I think high school is just about as close to hell as you can get. I admit I used to think about taking a gun and killing everyone I could. Used to plan suicide as well. Some people just can't handle the brutality that it is. The stress really is just unbearable for some, and we have no place for those people in our society today. They are forgotten, abandoned and pushed to the side. So, sometimes they retaliate.


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