I don't even know what to title this. (rant/vent)

[NotReallyCatfishGuy]

I'm mad. My mom thought that putting my weaker male paradise fish in a 10 gallon that already has 2 male guppies, 1 female guppy, 1 female balloon molly, and 1 male betta was a good idea. Long story short the paradise stressed my betta out so much that he's already dying. He has dropsy and he's grey, he's supposed to at least be tan with a red tail.

I raised that male betta ever since he was sold as a 'female baby' at petco. I've had him since March, and I started the hobby in December. I saw him grow and he stuck around to see me grow in fishkeeping. I wanted to rehome that paradise for such a long time but momma got attached. She expects me to pull money from out of nowhere and buy a 29 with everything just for that little vermin. I didn't hate him, but I sure do now. He always pecked at my betta, never tore a fin, but he stressed the poor fish 24/7. I really have no words. His name was Moon, a friend chose his name right when I bought him.

I don't have anything much else to say. I'm in this state where I feel like I'm gonna cry but I can't for some reason. I don't want anything to do with fish anymore. I'm still gonna keep on going in the hobby only because I'm the only person I know can keep a green terror.

No matter what my mom says all the fish in that 10 gallon are leaving. Other than the balloon molly and my pink tuxedo guppy. I raised the molly since she was a little speck in a 2.5 and the guppy's survived for a longer time than my other fish. That paradise was being bullied by my alpha male, that's why I wanted to rehome him. But I guess moving him into another tank where he finally gets power works too.

I can't cure the betta, I can't even euthanize him. My mom never let me buy a 5.5 or 10 for Moon, he was gonna be the delta tail that will live for years and grow with me. I guess not. It sucks seeing him suffer like this. I'll just stop here because I'm just too mad to type any more out. I'll leave you all with a picture of Moon when I had him in a 2.5. I'll keep it at 9 of 18.

 

[skjl47]

Hello; Rant.

 

[fishhead0103666]

Ugh, stupid rain is making my posts not send.
Anyway, you can't let this go on any longer. She is messing with the stuff YOU bought. That doesn't go. You need to set her straight. "You mess with my stuff I'll mess with your stuff." I once bought a book on the history of atheism off a classmate in middle school because I was interested in doing research on it and once she saw it she took it and refused to give it back. I told her she could either give it back or I'll take something of hers. I took her phone and hid it. Once she found out she threatened to punish me in a multitude of ways but I still refused to give it back. Eventually she gave me my book back and I gave her phone. Told her it would be her keys next time. She hasn't taken anything I've paid for myself again. Do I recommend this? No, it puts a strain on families but in this case it might be worth it. If you do do it then make sure you have the balls to go through with it. If you back out in the middle and give whatever you took from her before she promises not to mess with your stuff again then you'll get punished most likely severely and she'll know that you won't stand up for yourself.

 

[Go_redfish]

I know you are upset and I am not trying to minimize that. Your anger is valid. I just would like to make a few points. You can take em as wisdom from an old fart or leave em.
1. Bettas are a short lived fish. Yes he'd live longer if not picked on by another fish, but 2... 3yrs tops is the most you're going to get out of them under the best of circumstances.
2. After 31 yrs of keeping fish, i can say with confidence, you are going to lose more than a few. Some will be to no fault of your own. Others will be sacraficed entirely to your own ignorance and stupidity. That's all fish keepers. I'm not calling you stupid. We all start out ignorant in this. What keeps the rest of or many of us going in the hobby is ...after we process the grief of those losses.. We look back and learn what we did wrong. We honor the life that was lost by doing better for the next one. If you relly love keeping fish then don't stop. You can only get better with time and an open mind.

I got no advice about your mom. That's interpersonal human relations and Im no expert there.

Good luck, darlin and I hope you feel better soon.

 

[fishhead0103666]

I believe there was a betta in a lab setting that lived 9 years?

 

[Go_redfish]

I believe there was a betta in a lab setting that lived 9 years?

Is this young man running a lab set up?

 

[NotReallyCatfishGuy]

Ugh, stupid rain is making my posts not send.
Anyway, you can't let this go on any longer. She is messing with the stuff YOU bought. That doesn't go. You need to set her straight. "You mess with my stuff I'll mess with your stuff." I once bought a book on the history of atheism off a classmate in middle school because I was interested in doing research on it and once she saw it she took it and refused to give it back. I told her she could either give it back or I'll take something of hers. I took her phone and hid it. Once she found out she threatened to punish me in a multitude of ways but I still refused to give it back. Eventually she gave me my book back and I gave her phone. Told her it would be her keys next time. She hasn't taken anything I've paid for myself again. Do I recommend this? No, it puts a strain on families but in this case it might be worth it. If you do do it then make sure you have the balls to go through with it. If you back out in the middle and give whatever you took from her before she promises not to mess with your stuff again then you'll get punished most likely severely and she'll know that you won't stand up for yourself.

I would go through with something like that, but she's gonna buy a 29 gallon for me and anytime I tell her something along the lines of "I'm the one that has to feed the fish, take care of the fish properly, and study the fish for hours, you shouldn't be making decisions until you at least study keeping fish properly" she says she won't buy it. I know for facts it's an empty lie but she's thrown out an xbox or two of mine just because I would tell her that I bought _____ and I can decide what to do with it, not her.

I'd give my mom the 10 gallon so she can give fishkeeping a try, but she hasn't studied up a single bit.

She thinks a 55 gallon is too much for a foot long fish. Every time she tells me to get a common pleco, oscar, flowerhorn, hell, even mollies, I have to tell her they grow too big for me to keep. She always says," Why does that matter? It's not like the fish is gonna grow to that size in a week! We'll give it back to the store when it gets too big for the tank" then I have to explain to her about how the fish will stay too small forever due to stunting, and it'll die a very painful death. She never listens though! But since it's my money, even if I get punished for it, I say it'd rather be me than the fish.

Keep in mind that she's a very devoted christian, and she always says that the bible says this and that about making other living beings suffer and how it's wrong, she gave me an incredibly long lecture on how feeding baby guppies to bigger fish is cruel and sinful, yet she's perfectly fine with grabbing my fish out of the tank and looking at them for more than anyone would want her to (that's how she killed my oranda), and thinks stunting fish and making them suffer in such situations is okay.

I forgot where I was going with this, but uh, yeah.

 

[fishhead0103666]

No but you said bettas live 3 years and I mentioned it because its unknown to the majority that they can infact live longer then that.

I tried writing something regarding christianity and your mother for over 5 minutes but each time it came off as I was attacking either you mother, the religion, or both. So to put it simply, me and your mother would not get along.

 

[NotReallyCatfishGuy]

I know you are upset and I am not trying to minimize that. Your anger is valid. I just would like to make a few points. You can take em as wisdom from an old fart or leave em.
1. Bettas are a short lived fish. Yes he'd live longer if not picked on by another fish, but 2... 3yrs tops is the most you're going to get out of them under the best of circumstances.
2. After 31 yrs of keeping fish, i can say with confidence, you are going to lose more than a few. Some will be to no fault of your own. Others will be sacraficed entirely to your own ignorance and stupidity. That's all fish keepers. I'm not calling you stupid. We all start out ignorant in this. What keeps the rest of or many of us going in the hobby is ...after we process the grief of those losses.. We look back and learn what we did wrong. We honor the life that was lost by doing better for the next one. If you relly love keeping fish then don't stop. You can only get better with time and an open mind.

I got no advice about your mom. That's interpersonal human relations and Im no expert there.

Good luck, darlin and I hope you feel better soon.

Even though I do know about 1, I wanted to be there to see him grow from the smallest and most dead-looking baby betta into this beautiful thriving betta. But I only ever saw him with stress stripes and half transparent fins. weird enough, his stripes go away when he's super stressed. He's still struggling atm, doesn't even care that the filter current is too strong. Just goin with the flow. I 'm probably wrong to have done this, but I decided to have him do a few jumps for some frozen bloodworms. He learned to jump the day I got him, and he only jumped when he saw the toothpick. I don't want to do the head smashing euthanasia technique, so he's just gonna have to suffer. I really wish I had clove oil right now.

as for the deaths, I know that too, but this betta reminded me of my first betta, a red crowntail. He was such a good looking fish too. even though the old one never jumped, he always greeted me at the front of the tank. He succumbed to my stupid attempt at healing fin rot. I even missed school that day, which was surprising since my mom wouldn't let me take a day break from school after I had a few panic attacks and breakdowns. I've had 12 fish (5 comets, 2 black skirts, 5 tiger barbs. all in that tiny 10 gallon) die on me without shedding a single tear though.

I do learn from every death, but because I get so connected to the fish it just takes longer for me to dwell on the fact that a life I truly cared about (to the extent where they're like a pet dog or something) and was in charge of is gone, and the blood is on my hands. I do value every life, but some have way more significance to me than others, ya know?

 

[NotReallyCatfishGuy]

I do know veiltails, plakats, and females can live up to 10 years, and sometimes over, if fed right and kept in good conditions. I got the 'baby female' because I did have the necessary stuff for her to live at least 5 years. But I got a long tailed betta, shortening the life expectancy down to 3 years tops.