As a firm proponent of the Jeff Foxworthy school of aquariological thought, I continue to be amazed at the various approaches and philosophies displayed by various fish keepers. I marvel at the obsessive attention to detail in the construction of sumps and plumbing systems; nice clean PVC pipes running in perfectly parallel banks, sometimes labelled as to water flow direction, even colour coded! Electrical controllers and monitors mounted on stands, their blinking LEDs and LCD readouts like a high-tech industrial laboratory. Completely automated water changes and/or top-ups, elaborate RO units to remove minerals from our water so that we can then add mineral supplements to put them back in, questionable nitrate-removal voodoo so we can keep the water we have painstakingly created via RO rather than having to change it for fresh, lighting systems to mimic sunrise/sunset/lightning/eclipses, CO2 injection to grow our plants without quite killing our fish...it's mind-boggling.
I admit it; I don't do any of this stuff. If my well water is not suited for a specific species of fish...I just don't keep those fish. I don't do any chemistry-lab magic to make my water last forever; I just change it to keep it healthy. I don't medicate, de-chlorinate, de-nitrify, de-salinate, reverse-osmosificate (I know that's not a word but it really should be...), or do anything else to my water. I buy only the equipment that I can't make myself.
I am...an Aquarium Redneck. Any others out there? There's gotta be; not everyone keeps fish by the simple expedient of spending endless amounts of money on frivolous crap. There have been some awe-inspiring threads by members who have built their own tanks, filters, etc...but only some of these are true Rednecks. Are you?
Here are a few telltale signs:
If more than one or two pieces of your aquarium filtration system came from Home Depot, or are labelled Rubbermaid or Sterilite...you might be an Aquarium Redneck.
If you have ever drilled a hole in the foundation of your house, for any reason related to aquariums...you might be an Aquarium Redneck.
If any of your aquariums are made of plywood, and have carefully finished epoxy-sealed interiors...but bare-wood, unfinished exteriors...you might be an Aquarium Redneck.
If you can recite from memory what the various colours of Poret foam translate to in terms of PPI...you might be an Aquarium Redneck.
If you buy aquarium-safe silicone in caulking-gun tubes...by the case-lot...you might be an Aquarium Redneck.
If you have multiple 12-cubic-foot storage bins full of assorted elbows, valves, bulkheads, T's and other plumbing fittings...just in case you need one in a hurry...you might be an Aquarium Redneck.
If most of your plumbing is made of ABS, rather than PVC...you might be an Aquarium Redneck.
If you keep rubber boots or waders in your truck, so that you can leap out of your car and wade through quicksand to retrieve some particularly cool-looking chunk of driftwood from a roadside swamp...you might be an Aquarium Redneck.
If your basement fishroom sounds like Niagara Falls, because none of your tank overflows have names like Bean or George or whatever, because you find the noise soothing...you might be an Aquarium Redneck.
If any of your fish have ever spent any time in a bait bucket or a landing net...you might be an Aquarium Redneck.
If you answered Yes to 3 or more of the above questions...congratulations! You, my friend...are an Aquarium Redneck.