The best news here, is that not only are you aware of the problem, but
you are willing to talk about it

I have 4 kids, the oldest is going on 14, 12, 6, and 3. So I guess that
makes me mom age too. I had things pretty rough when I was a kid, yep
even here in Canada one can have a life so totally abnormal no one wants
to believe it. I lived in the middle of nowhere, had not even 1 friend, we
had no power or running water, no walls or insulation in our house. It was
like living in the 1800's. I was told at 18 by the time I was 40 I'd be in
a wheelchair(I made a liar out of them). And when I got married, my
husband became abusive, so I lived with that for 10 years. I suffered
from PTSD. I couldn't trust anyone, I couldn't talk to anyone, I was in
total denial over what had happened and went so far as to blame myself
for HIS problem. I've had anxiety attacked, bouts of depression etc.
It took years to drag myself out of that. When my
family and I moved to this new place in August, the 2nd day we were
here, a neighbor went beserk and attacked my mother and my baby with
CHAINS, and when I interrupted, I got it even worse. The trauma of seeing
my frail mother and small child in such terror and pain was the worst
experience of my life. I have not been able to sleep without the use of
medication ever since. I'm afraid to leave my home, for fear this person
of one of their friends comes back to finish the job. When I do leave, I
spend all the time I can spare, on the phone with someone at home so
I don't go nuts worrying. Even when I used meds to sleep, I have
nightmares, and I get flashbacks and just start crying and shaking.
When I see this person, I just have to run because my reaction to
their prescence isn't pleasant. My kids had to deal with much of this
as well, so they struggle in some very similar ways.
Seeing a doctor my first time out, was absolutely the best thing I have
ever done for myself. Since I've been through the 'program' before, I am
dealing with it with just my family doc and family members that have some
experience with counselling. The tides started to turn for me, when I did
start talking outside the docs office. I got into a group with other people
who had the same problem, just knowing I'm not nuts and not alone,
helped set me on the road to recovery. WHatever you do, DO NOT GIVE
UP! There are alot of people out there that have had similar experiences,
and while its not something you can have much control over just yet,
that will change, and when it does, look out you can do everything you
ever wanted to, and then some. Keep talking. It doesn't have to be with
your best friend, just anyone who is willing to listen and help. Stick with
the shrink, despite their quirky ways they are helpful. PM me anytime if
you want to chat