Anyone else secretly bothered by cichlid misogyny? (PIC)

[Oscarum monstruoso]

I know animals are different than people but the way my male kamfa treats my female parrot is downright barbaric.

She basically cowers in her log all day except for the couple times she darts out for a speck of food before he beats her back to "her place" again. He is twice her size and a big brute. He cruises the tank all day like hes a big bad Stanley Kowalski while she cowers in hiding. The female is beaten, starved and kept in a constant state of fear and subservience.

As you can see, Im not exaggerating. You can plainly see his cocky attitude and brutish expression, while she is clearly downtrodden and keeps her sad eyes pointed down at the floor all the time.

Is there any way to remedy this behavior? I have thought of adding another female to disperse aggression but that doesnt solve the problem and would only reward the aggressor with his own harem of abused spouses. The only option I can think is to separate them but I dont have the space at the moment.

 

[ziggy2]

You either need to seperate them or add a couple more females.

 

[grunzilla]

you can get a tank divider. or make one.

 

[Oscarum monstruoso]

You either need to seperate them or add a couple more females.

I cant do either at the moment. In addition to the abovementioned reasons, I also do not want to increase the bioload any further.

you can get a tank divider. or make one.

I made a divider for them before I introduced the female. I also rearranged the tank. The divider proved unnecessary because the kamfa is not violently aggressive. He gets physical but he isnt very harmful. He basically bumps her a bit and opens his mouth to bite but he never injures her because she cowers right away and he's happy when she just hides. So hes more oppressive and mentally abusive. I want him to be more tolerant of her right to swim around and get fed.

 

[CichofitAll]

Don't blame your fish, that is his nature. It is your failure as a fish keeper. You can not keep any other fish with most male flowerhorns. You should have known that before putting the parrot in with him. Do the right thing and either divide the tank or put her in her own tank. Not trying to be mean just hoping to educate a fellow fish keeper.

 

[Jimmy16]

sounds like how I treat my woman.

 

[Oscarum monstruoso]

Don't blame your fish, that is his nature. It is your failure as a fish keeper. You can not keep any other fish with most male flowerhorns. You should have known that before putting the parrot in with him. Do the right thing and either divide the tank or put her in her own tank. Not trying to be mean just hoping to educate a fellow fish keeper.

No offense taken, this situation surprised me. I anticipated aggression, so I started with a divider. They get along fine, no one has ever hurt anyone, its just a dominant dynamic imposed by the male. Heres an example.

She peeks her nose out, he pulls a 180 and browbeats her back into her "kitchen":

 

[shellies215]

Maybe if she would clean the tank every once in a while he wouldn't treat her like that.

 

[mother monster]

i can't stand seeing constant oppression like that in my tanks, which is why i'm not prone to cichlids, but i keep a blood parrot, compressiceps, texas cichlid, climbing perch, clown knife, bichir, and pacu in one of my monster tanks with no aggression whatsoever. i had a dempsey in there that terrorized EVERYone. the meanest fish i ever saw, i totally hated him for being what i saw as 'irrationally' mean [and later rationally just realized cichlids are low on my list of fish to keep because of their behavior]. i had to euthenize him because of all the terror/damage he was causing &there was nowhere for him to go aside from the taxidermy project bin. you never really know how aggressive a fish is going to be, either- that climbing perch i just mentioned? the only time he ever picks on anyone- its the bichir. wtf? and only for a second, and the bichir almost doesn't notice. weird for him to go all the way across the tank just to peck on the bichir 2 times his size. however, because they are what they are, from time to time [not even all that often] i see a short flashy argument going on and it's almost cool because it's natural, not destructive, and lasts for seconds and both fish return to normal. mostly though i like dorkier fish unconcerned with hierarchy XD putting the divider in will just give you a temporary solution for the little girl while you figure out what to do, so even though she's not being beaten up she'd probably be a lot happier able to leave the log for once. it might end up having to be a 'her or him' decision, which is the choice i had to make with the dempsey never letting my other fish swim. i have the room now, but the dempsey looks good as a necklace, i don't think i want another live one x3 good luck :>

p.s. sorry if i missed it, did you mention your tank size anywhere? just curious~ maybe adding a lot more decor will give her more hiding spots, but chances are she won't really be 'liberated' until she's separated; i've witnessed the liberation before, it's amazing; the fish has to do happy dances of joy XD

 

[mother monster]

Maybe if she would clean the tank every once in a while he wouldn't treat her like that.

i lol'd