If you are in NY you should go to the East Coast Flowerhorn Competition this year. Its being held in Brooklyn. I go every year, I don't compete, I just go to socialize with other flowerhorn hobbyists and see some amazing fish in real life.
Thai silks are hard to check for male and female visually. You have to vent them. I have 3 thai silks just like that. Even after venting I can't tell. The guy who sold me it has like 20-30 of them same size and they all look the same. Unfortunately my thai silk have very poor kok genes.
Also its not smaller than his finger. Thats a reflection from the front glass lol