Chuck Norris Jokes

[jlsmonkey]

I have heard a bunch of these floating around school and some spots on the internet, so lets see what we all know.

I'll start.

Global warming isn't real, Chuck Norris just got cold and turned up the sun.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.
Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

 

[Camshaft Ramrod]

Oh god, no....

 

[zpetrichko]

the boogie man checks under his bed for chuck norris every night,
chuck norris doesn't mow his lawn he simply stares at his grass and dares it to grow.
the dinosaurs gave chuck norris a bad look, ONCE!
chuck norris doesn't tea bag, he potato sacks
chuck norris isn't hung like a horse, a horse is hung like chuck norris


these were popular when i was in highschool too graduated in 06

 

[Camshaft Ramrod]

make it stop...

 

[Pharaoh]

Chuck Norris doesn't style his hair. It stays in place out of sheer terror.

 

[smpage]

Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

 

[xPe_MONeYx]

The cheif export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris does not leave messages, he leaves warrnings.
Chuck Norris refers to himself in fourth person.

 

[cassharper]

"Chuck Norris once visited the virgin islands, they are now the islands"

 

[12 Volt Man]

crop circles are chuck norris's way of telling corn to lie down.

 

[floater33]

chuck norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.