girl problems
- Thread starter ltvills
- Start date
I agree with you. When you commit in a relationship, whether you're in the stage of getting to know each other better or already seriously committed, TRUST is one thing to consider. If you have doubts about your husband/wife, why commit in the first place? When you are in a relationship with someone, you need to know him/her better, to know how much he/she trusts you and is willing to commit to you. There is no reason to feel insecurely jealous of your mate otherwise, you should NOT commit with him/her at all.vladfloroff;4550358; said:
Ltvills, you're under peer pressure it seems to choose between your girlfriend and best friend. You mentioned that "people say you should be going out with your best friend instead". Are they really in the best position to say that to you? Do they have to be the ones to micromanage your decisions regarding your relationship? Think again. If you're questioning yourself over your relationship between those two girls, then you may not be satisfied about your girlfriend at all. Are you? That's exactly the impression I get when you began to question your choices simply because other people told you so.
It's exactly those reasons why I advised you NOT to give in easily and start dating your best friend or even date both. That is NOT absolutely going to work. As already mentioned by others, this is blatant disrespect to the integrity of both girls in question. By dating your best friend, you risk losing the girl you already committed to in the first place. What is there to gain by losing her and eventually your best friend (once she finds out the whole truth assuming she even has sincerity to consider why you broke off the first one just to be with her)? A best friend is a real friend who actually considers everything with sincerity and integrity no matter what the issue is. I always look to my best friends if I see sincerity in them otherwise I don't consider them as one at all.
Does your best friend know you still love her much more than just a friend? You need to be careful of your actions around her. I took my own risks with my own friendships myself but that is very different. In your own situation, you can't just commit with another girl while you are happily steady with a current one. You need to look at yourself and try to be satisfied with what you have. If you are happy with your girl friend, then forget what other people told you. Just because you are best friends with another girl, it does NOT make it a necessity to commit to her as well. Best friends remain true to themselves forever. Be glad that you remain best friends with her. She'll be your confidant if you have issues to share to her. Again, just be careful around her. You have a girl friend. Don't make it worse for you by dating another woman.
Some can disagree saying you can date both girls freely but look at the current situation. It may have worked for some but not for others. When you commit, focus all your attention to one girl only and don't waste time ruining it for others. You'll only be unhappy in doing so.
vladfloroff;4550358; said:
i agree with u that it is stupid... im not a jelous person ben with my girl for five years with no prob..
AND SHE LVES MONSTER FISHKEEPER im just pointin out what i have seen around me and its the numb 1 reason most couples dont work out ...
vladfloroff;4550358; said:
just because someone has different views from you don't automatically make it/them stupid. it may sound stupid to you, but if you're ok with your lady running of to the best friend everytime you guys have a fight, more power to you.
that and my wife hanging out (lunch, dinner, movies, phone calls) with a dude just won't fly with me
it's not a trust issue, i just don't see how having a male best friend will do any good except cause problems
svang55;4550492; said:
Would it be better that she go nail some dude at the local bar after you leave for a work trip? She's either going to do it or she's not going to do it, male friends have little effect. Also if you are on good terms with him the chances of him doing it are smaller.
As far as my wife running off to her male best friend.
No in that case I'm COMPLETELY secure. He's expressed avid interest in one of us, just not her.
vladfloroff;4550510; said:Would it be better that she go nail some dude at the local bar after you leave for a work trip? She's either going to do it or she's not going to do it, male friends have little effect. Also if you are on good terms with him the chances of him doing it are smaller.
As far as my wife running off to her male best friend.
No in that case I'm COMPLETELY secure. He's expressed avid interest in one of us, just not her.
yea, if she's gonna do it, she will do it regardless
that goes for anyone regardless if they agree with me or you.
if the guy is best friends with you both then that's different. I'm talking about a guy who is only her best friend
and male friends could have a lot of affect. in a male/female friendship, one is secretly attracted to the other and have the "what-if" fantasies. or both have thought about it. that's just my opinion and experience. either the guy will have feelings or the girl will have it if not both. and guess who they go to when they get in a fight with their current bf/gf? like i said, opposite sex best friend = trouble
and I dont' want any part of that, when I dated, that was my thing. she either agreed or it was good bye. or we stayed frenz or i dated them and didn't take her serious
frontosablkrhom;4549680; said:your in a great spot, keep your existing girlfriend, then start to get more physical with your friend, tell your friend you really care about her then ask her out BAM 2 girlfriends and double the fun. playa plaaaaaa
its not like your a married man live it up
be careful they dont find out about each other.. good luck man
I really hope your kidding. Although funny in a way it would be horrible to do to the girl.
well.. screw the moral, just you thinking about this issue enough to share on a fish forum shows that you're not willing to commit enough for a serious relationship.. that is not necessarily a bad thing.. if you know your moral restrictions you can act accordingly.. f what the moral police says, do what YOU think feels good, you probably only have one life, don't waste it following others' moral principles..
If you even have a set (I assume you atleast have some respect for your gf) you should say to your girlfriend "I do not love you enough for monogamy and will have sex with others, I could still be your friend" ofc she won't but you gave it a try.. if you are not happy why should you stay?
If you even have a set (I assume you atleast have some respect for your gf) you should say to your girlfriend "I do not love you enough for monogamy and will have sex with others, I could still be your friend" ofc she won't but you gave it a try.. if you are not happy why should you stay?
