I need help with my BF mother....

[West1]

well, there ya go.
The mom obviously has felt that she had to keep him safe & monitor him his whole life. Do you really know what his behaviors were in the past when things didn't go "as planned"?
You may have no idea how much 'management' was required in improvements over last year.
There is no "the kind" of autism or other functional disorders, every person and case is different.

Mom probably figures it will all end up on her plate, not yours, if he is overwhelmed & comes unraveled.
and she may be correct, if there is a question as to whether or not he is capable of independent living.
Not every 19 yr old person has the same life skills. Mom could have a conservatorship on him, due to disability.

I don't know, just throwing out thoughts.
Try communicating with her about all this. Sorry, but IMO it is irresponsible to bring his situation onto a public forum, for input from a bunch of totally clueless and uninvolved people.
He has a support system, and you are new on the scene.
My advice is either plug in to it, or pull out.
Everybody has to do a lot of readjusting in order to add a serious relationship to these dynamics: Mom, him and you.

Good luck.

^ Good ponts here

break up with him not worth it sorry.

Bad advice, plus she is trying to work it out.

I don't know cause even the father comes and i think the mother just come weather he want her to or not...

This comment raises a red flag. To me there seems to be a past history where it has the parents nervous about something.

I would def have a heart to heart with the parents (both at the same time). In doing this it would show a foarm of respect and responsibility and could be very comforting for a parent. Not sure if the issue is letting go of their "baby" or if its deeper than that.

Other things to think of, parents are smart and maybe they have read your FB profile (if you have one Lol) or did some type of research, none the less... Good Luck

 

[ecoli73]

What do you want from this relationship? I do not see this succeeding in the long term.

When the hormones blows over there are a whole host of issues to deal with.


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[Addikted2Cichlids]

Talk with the parents.. There may be a reason. Maybe they let him out on his own and someone took advantage of him or did him harm.. I would def try to find the cause of them acting that way and try to work with them and see what you guys can work out.. Have you asked him why his parents always tag along??

 

[princess]

lol I didn't know MFK had an agony aunt section, ahhh men trying to give advice = funny

 

[anarekist]

lol yeah we all assume the mom is a reasonable person, if she's shadowing her son on dates i highly doubt that. i doubt anything will be accomplished by being 'open' with her. you're way to young to work this hard on a relationship for a 'nice' 19 yearold kid.

 

[Loves severums]

I saw an episode of whatever that show is on hbo where they follow the moonlite bunny ranch and some mom took her son in and bought him a session with a working girl.....then proceeded to the room with him and watched them do the no pants dance. Ask your dude if his mom has ever paid for "it".


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[Loves severums]

What do you want from this relationship? I do not see this succeeding in the long term.

When the hormones blows over there are a whole host of issues to deal with.


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whatever!

 

[Loves severums]

Talk with the parents.. There may be a reason. Maybe they let him out on his own and someone took advantage of him or did him harm.. I would def try to find the cause of them acting that way and try to work with them and see what you guys can work out.. Have you asked him why his parents always tag along??

i am his first date hes never date or had a girlfriend... And no not yet

 

[Loves severums]

lol yeah we all assume the mom is a reasonable person, if she's shadowing her son on dates i highly doubt that. i doubt anything will be accomplished by being 'open' with her. you're way to young to work this hard on a relationship for a 'nice' 19 yearold kid.