As some of you know,my girl and I of 3 years or so broke up after a long time of trying to fit each others needs and getting exhausted from it to the point of deep depression.We see each other at work which is fine,we are only around each other about 20 minutes a day.I see all kinds of girls all day long and when I go out its the same.However,her and I got so so close that we are still close but obviously broken up and most likely for good.Its killing me,and I think her too,but we tried everything to fix this and it was clear as day that we are not matched up well.WTF,one hour we talk and its super clear why we should not be together and the next hour we talk great.One minute Im in love with her still and want to hold her so bad and the next we need boxing gloves.I think of her in her little snuggly looking sweater and her cute little feet in her flip flops and Im dying inside,the next time shes telling me things that get so far under my skin that I want to go to Pinheads house to be skinned and have it removed.I am honestly going crazy and like right now,though its been a long road to this break up,Im heart broken all over.I may see some great hot girl tonight and even want to be with her but Im not a one nighter guy,and in my heart I cant shake my feelings for my x.We love each other so dang much and have something almost spiritual with each other but their is way to much we dont have.For the love of God I need my heart to heel.What a deep freaken hole,its like we will always know,no matter if we meet somebody or not that we left this still loving each other but were just not allowed to be.Crap,whats this?A tear,great Im going out,time for a Chardonnay and a cigar.
love crap
- Thread starter jason longboard
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im on the same level as you know but not the hating each other right now girlfriend of two years... so angry right now wish there where more girls on this website to give advice!
Take it from an old person. There's a difference between love and addiction. So called 'real' love is boring, stable, not always fun but it's always there when no one else is. Addiction is highs and lows and love em' to death and exciting. Addiction is a lot more fun but you reach a point where the lows aren't worth the highs. And that, my friend, is over 40 yrs of experience all laid out for you lol
im only 21 so yeah.. then whats the time diffrence between love and addiction?
and I feel there is no one else!
I got to a college where the girls are 4-1 I get hit on A LOT..
Still only want her.
and I feel there is no one else!
I got to a college where the girls are 4-1 I get hit on A LOT..
Still only want her.
TwistedPenguin;2299641; said:
Well said
The really up/down relationships will never work out long-term, that is just the way it is. If being with someone makes you feel like you are bipolar, best leave that relationship ASAP.
Love isn't necessarily boring... but as the years go by the passion isn't there 24/7... doesn't mean there is none, but it isn't like relationships are for the first while (at least in my opinion).it is more of a smoldering thing than a fireball. But it is something that is deeper and more 'real' - not a drama-fest that is like a rollercoaster.
Seeing someone after a breakup always sucks, but time heals everything.
bangerang103;2299650; said:
It's different with everyone. But I do have to say you're smack in the middle of learning it right now. It just doesn't feel good to learn those important life lessons. It totally sucks. In 20 more years you'll be learning different kinds of lessons. Like how to tell if your teenagers are lying and are really out drinking. Trust me-that's an even harder lesson lol Thank God my 2 oldest are older than you now.
This might sound crazy, but love is crazy. So lets get crazy...
You still have her filed under girlfriend. That confuses you because that's not what she is.
You can't delete the file, because you don't want to let her go.
Refile her as family, as sister, as twin, as team. You can still love her forever, without being in love with her.
You can move on, she can move on...while not losing each other.
Love her and wish her well. Want her to find a mate that fits her. Want you to find a mate that fits you.
You can have a close and loving relationship, beyond mere lust and ownership.
If you can't change her from "Property" you will be territorial and destroy the bond.
If you can't change her file from "Property" to "Team" you are going to shoot Mr. Right, right in the face.
She will not be interested in being "Team" after you start controlling her life as "Boss".
If you can't change her from "Property" you will have to get away from her and stay away. Bad things happen when your heart tries to own someone that has not given themselves to you.
If you can't change her file from "Girlfriend" and "Lover" your heart will have no room for someone else.
That worked for me. The one I love the most, is also the one I hate the most.
We are nemesis. But we are team. We will always be family.
We actually acknowledged that. We had a private ceremony where we did not marry, but adopted each other.
I introduce her not as my ex, but as my sister. Because that's what she is. And I wish her well.
You still have her filed under girlfriend. That confuses you because that's not what she is.
You can't delete the file, because you don't want to let her go.
Refile her as family, as sister, as twin, as team. You can still love her forever, without being in love with her.
You can move on, she can move on...while not losing each other.
Love her and wish her well. Want her to find a mate that fits her. Want you to find a mate that fits you.
You can have a close and loving relationship, beyond mere lust and ownership.
If you can't change her from "Property" you will be territorial and destroy the bond.
If you can't change her file from "Property" to "Team" you are going to shoot Mr. Right, right in the face.
She will not be interested in being "Team" after you start controlling her life as "Boss".
If you can't change her from "Property" you will have to get away from her and stay away. Bad things happen when your heart tries to own someone that has not given themselves to you.
If you can't change her file from "Girlfriend" and "Lover" your heart will have no room for someone else.
That worked for me. The one I love the most, is also the one I hate the most.
We are nemesis. But we are team. We will always be family.
We actually acknowledged that. We had a private ceremony where we did not marry, but adopted each other.
I introduce her not as my ex, but as my sister. Because that's what she is. And I wish her well.
good stuff and thanks guys.I lived with a girl for 6 years or so like being married but it was love for sure,but also the addiction.After being in several somewhat long deals,I know for certain that this latest girl I loved for real.Their was not really a bad addiction vibe but more like hey,we disagree on so much dang stuff and can fight but I loved her for much deeper reasons than I ever did before.Like I said before,thats the hard part here,I sit here and worry about her as I would if she were my child.I was accepting that it was not exciting and stuff because I knew my heart really loved her,but like you guys say.The feeling of bipolar at times can kill you fast.Well,its just hard to go on wondering if you could have just tried harder or changed yourself to fit hem better,especially if its things you should pry change anyways but its just not as easy as it sounds.You cant expect somebody to wait forever on you molding to them and the other way around too.Anyways,like right now I would do anything to see her just sleeping on her old side of the bed,but in the morn,I know that as far as snugglin,lovin,talkin or getting up early,late whatever,we would not be on the same page.Thats one of the worst things is never being on the same page and I think that should be more natural within the first few years at least.Oh but we connected so good in other ways it was too good to be true,so Im just missing that so dang bad.Im 33 now,damned if we sure wernt hoping this was it but I guess not.My other break ups made since and we learned from them and moved on eventually.This one just seems like we got screwed and it hurts all over.Thanks guys for the replys.
