I'm 33 now when i split with my long term partner of 6 year's i hated his gut's i could have happyly beat him with a stick and a smile on my face but now 8 year's later he's one of my closest friend's it took some time but now ive got a friend i thought i'd lost.
love crap
- Thread starter jason longboard
- Start date
jojo_nature;2301045; said:
I've been married 20 yrs and I feel that way all the time about my husband, I'm sure the feeling is mutual lol But at the same time he is my closest friend and I know I can count on him 110% without having to think about it (even if he's wanting to beat me with a stick at the same time).i am apparently not very good at relationships.. every man i've married or been with has cost me something... most often my dignity. the last one cost me a TON of money and almost made me lose everything i've worked for all of my life.
i watched my grandparents.. they didn't talk much, but they always worked together towards a common goal. And they didn't argue, if something wasn't right, or one of them said something that they shouldn't the other just said "lets leave that alone now" and the subject was dropped.
as far as i can tell.. you should be FRIENDS first and always. And that thing they call "love" is just some tingly feelings ya get when yer horny. And you should NEVER try to hurt your partner, you MUST always work to keep your relationship on the right track.
one of the things that scared me when i first met my last hubby was that he said he shouldn't have to work at keeping our relationship and he wouldn't. And it came true.
i watched my grandparents.. they didn't talk much, but they always worked together towards a common goal. And they didn't argue, if something wasn't right, or one of them said something that they shouldn't the other just said "lets leave that alone now" and the subject was dropped.
as far as i can tell.. you should be FRIENDS first and always. And that thing they call "love" is just some tingly feelings ya get when yer horny. And you should NEVER try to hurt your partner, you MUST always work to keep your relationship on the right track.
one of the things that scared me when i first met my last hubby was that he said he shouldn't have to work at keeping our relationship and he wouldn't. And it came true.
Yeah my last two girlfriends were very respectful of my hobbies and time I put into them,thats always a good thing.ewurm;2301126; said:
we just talked on the phone for a while and we let out a bit of how sucky this has been and yet both know its probably best.However it hurts us both so bad and I want more than anything in the world to go their and hold her in sleep.Her family is small and not very close or social so she was so used to mine and she had that extra love.Her friends are married and always busy.So shes been just staying home depressed on the weekends.I know she hurts and is lonely.So am I,we miss the good stuff so dang bad.I told her that I would do anything to hold her right now but in the morn we would fight for some reason and she would want to hold the pillow over my head and suffocate me,lol.She said then focuse on the pillow part and we laughed but then we stated crying together about how bad we miss the way it was at times and she had my family and freinds.God you guys,been crying for the last hour,want to hold her so bad but would just make things worse later because it would most likely just go back to the bipolar feelings.How in the hell in life are we supposed to know what to do,how is it right that I miss her and want to hold her so bad and just talk about the nerdy stuff we did and yet know that we might ruin eachother.Just when I think things are easing up I fall apart.Hell with it,I dumpin my heart in the garbage because God or whoever is in charge of this feeling in my chest dosnt seem to care about it anymore.I keep my heart on my head for life to shoot at all day in case anyone else wants to smash it more.
TwistedPenguin;2299641; said:
that is very good information. me and my wife are that way. i like it. I know I have someone to come home to every night. nice warm feeling all the time, but it's definitely not 100 percent passion. it's still nice. not boring to me, but stable.
jason longboard;2305669; said:
I can't even quote the whole thing, you're breaking my heart here lol 1/2 my lifetime ago I did the whole 'addiction' thing many times before I settled for the "stable but no pain" thing. Trust me-I'll remember til the day I die how you're feeling right now. I tell ya-for all my talk-I couldn't do it. I'd be over there right now and to hell with the consequences. After I got out of those kinds of relationships (many years ago) I was very careful to run as fast as I could once I recognized the signs. Now that it's all behind me I'll take boring and painless any day over what you're dealing with right now.
Well it was boring most the time,thats why to me it felt and feels like real love,no bells and whistles you know,just the deep care for eachother and how they feel.How to deal with it now,how about this,I guess Im just gonna cry myself to sleep.Thanks for your words,but our pain is stronger than I ever thought it would be.Damn this sucks.Hell IDK,im just babbling you guys to death,sorry.
