love crap
- Thread starter jason longboard
- Start date
Ok but why do I feel caught in the middle?It was boring,unless we were going to an event or concert or something but the ex before her and I were always doing that stuff.The ex before her and I would equally share and initiate sexy times and dancing and all that stuff.This time it was a more calm,non exciting but more deep than the old ex.This time it could be so freaking boring that some of my biggest fights were from trying to get her to talk more but she was so content to just chill,as I am alot of times,but we were just backwards.Red Devil;2300105; said:very well said... and explained.... but they won't listen
- While sexy times were great,it was always my move which got old.Things got very boring and yet I loved her all the same.Well,you know,Ive been on a wide variety of sides in relationships.SOme ppl are older and been in a 30 year deal but only with the one person.I know see how many dang different types of women are out their.Ive been with the crazys,the models,the my ex used to beat me up,the I want 20 kids by the time Im 20,the I dont know what the heck I wants,the longer live in one that shared 7 years of some of the greatest times of my life but just needed to move on because Im a floating butterfly now,and this last beautiful heart full well organized smart young lady.
- I never felt addicted to any of it this time,I know if she was here and unless I would come up with something to do that we would be bored to death,but still,just couldn't stop loving her.I think the big problems were I like spur of the moment beach trips and such,that stresses her out.I like big concerts,she freaks in a large crowed.I like to dance a little,she would faint.I love to go to the gym with a girl freind,she goes at 6 in the morn because she dosnt want ppl looking at her.On and ON and ON>yet,still,I still love her so much.So was I addicted in your eyes,or more real love.I feel its more real love and some would say then why dont you stay and work it out,well,because I think that if it went on longer and as bad as we fought now that to have kids,imagine how much worse it could get.My parents divorced when I was 10,I dont want that.Also,I would rather not feel bipolar the rest of my life,problem is,my heart wont shut up,lol.Anyways,blah blah blah,lol.
I'm pretty impressed you've got so much of a handle on things. And you're only 21? I think you'll be fine. I think you're going to figure things out in your own way and on your own time and you're going to do the right thing for yourself and your eventual peace of mine.
ME?Im 33.Im not sue if you were talking to me though,lol.But thank you for your advice and incite too.Ive always paid very close attention to other ppls relationships and I hope to God that some day I fint the one that will let me start a family and have a little kid.I dont need it right now,but I dont want to have 5 year olds when Im in my 40s either.Hey,I now their are lots of girls looking for the same thing,its just finding the one thats attracted to you and you to them,find just that right moment to connect with someone weather through intellect,looks,sports,church,through family,friends,work,who knows.You cant plan it thats for sure.If I was younger I think I would get into something that would allow me to travel and work around the world for a bit but now at 33 like I say,I dont want to wait forever to have kids,or at least a wife.Dont know why Im tossing this in but,I love a relationship where you can both go your own way and enjoy it just fine but if your stuck 24 7 together thats just fine too.Sorry,little off topic,lol.TwistedPenguin;2300700; said:
i did not mean that you personally will not listen...i meant that we all must learn in our own time what love really is and how our expectation is so different then what the reality of love really is...jason longboard;2300680; said:
jason longboard;2300725; said:
Oops, I didn't read the name close enough, I was thinking you were the OP and I thought he'd said he was 21. Well then you're proof-long about the time your 30's come along you've got it figured out lol
Don't over think it too much. You won't find any answers.
Why do you have these feelings for an otherwise incompatible person? Maybe spiritual vibe, maybe just pheromones, maybe brain fart. Maybe you feel so much for her because you know it's safe. You know it won't go anywhere, you know it won't work, so you can experiment with these feelings without actual risk. Maybe you picked someone lacking in personality, so you could write your own fantasy.
Maybe lots of things. It doesn't really matter. Unless this becomes a repeat pattern for you. Where you keep falling for girls you know you can't be with. Then you need to figure out what's going on in your head.
But for now, you need to realize there are no answers. You won't solve the riddle. Not until you get past her.
Recovering from the loss of any heartfelt relationship is similar to grieving a death.
1-Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
2-Anger (why is this happening to me?)
3-Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
4-Depression (I don't care anymore)
5-Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)
You are still a long way from acceptance. You might logically understand you can't be with her. But it will take some time to reset those emotional circuits.
Until then your brain is going to replay it over and over, processing the information.
In a few weeks or months you'll be fine. But for now you are grieving.
I know you can't stop thinking about her. That's part of the process. Just don't drive yourself crazy with it. Don't look for answers. There are none.
Don't think "Well I'm always thinking of her, I must really love her and must make it work, if only I..."
No. You are grieving. It will pass.
Allow yourself to think of her. But don't use it to hang onto her. Don't hang onto these emotions and memories.
Understand that your brain is replaying those memories, sifting through the emotions that no longer apply, rewriting the map of your heart.
You are grieving. It will pass.
Why do you have these feelings for an otherwise incompatible person? Maybe spiritual vibe, maybe just pheromones, maybe brain fart. Maybe you feel so much for her because you know it's safe. You know it won't go anywhere, you know it won't work, so you can experiment with these feelings without actual risk. Maybe you picked someone lacking in personality, so you could write your own fantasy.
Maybe lots of things. It doesn't really matter. Unless this becomes a repeat pattern for you. Where you keep falling for girls you know you can't be with. Then you need to figure out what's going on in your head.
But for now, you need to realize there are no answers. You won't solve the riddle. Not until you get past her.
Recovering from the loss of any heartfelt relationship is similar to grieving a death.
1-Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
2-Anger (why is this happening to me?)
3-Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
4-Depression (I don't care anymore)
5-Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)
You are still a long way from acceptance. You might logically understand you can't be with her. But it will take some time to reset those emotional circuits.
Until then your brain is going to replay it over and over, processing the information.
In a few weeks or months you'll be fine. But for now you are grieving.
I know you can't stop thinking about her. That's part of the process. Just don't drive yourself crazy with it. Don't look for answers. There are none.
Don't think "Well I'm always thinking of her, I must really love her and must make it work, if only I..."
No. You are grieving. It will pass.
Allow yourself to think of her. But don't use it to hang onto her. Don't hang onto these emotions and memories.
Understand that your brain is replaying those memories, sifting through the emotions that no longer apply, rewriting the map of your heart.
You are grieving. It will pass.
