It does seem like it is coming together. However there are still many hurdles to overcome, and a lot left to do and figure out. I am still experiencing large losses in shipping due to various reasons...1 heat pack that never activated, too many in a box trying to cut down shipping...all-in-all, it has been a very long, cold, and difficult winter. I don't always share a lot of the frustrations these days...sometimes they are just too overwhelming, and things just seem really bad. What keeps me going is that in my first year, I have already seen so many things become true as I had speculated...and still there are even more directions to go if even I need to.
I'm overbudget again on this project...I am great at that. I skipped a lot of stuff to save money, but still used it all up.... So we're broke again..waiting for the next success (or failure). which makes everything I do here more important...but it also creates a heavy feeling that makes it difficult at times to be as energetic as I need to be.
But I have what I need right now. I have what I need to get through to the next round of Fry, and beyond. Perhaps the pitfalls I am always running across are becoming shallower...
I am thankful for what I have right now. Yes...I HAVE made it a long ways. I made it through the first year...and in that first year I have justified what I am doing. Is that not all that matters? To me...yes. To my wife and family though? I am seeing signs of support. My wife is a tough one to read...I feel her support through the things that she
doesn't do... I feel like I am not getting blamed for us "being broke" all the time. I feel like my wife is seeing the potential that I saw a year ago...and THAT is a victory...THAT is a great success story. Because if I have the support of my family (still), and the people who matter to me believe in what I am doing...then I am doing the right thing.
BTW- I was downstairs doing my night-time chores the other day and my wife came down and hung out with me for a while. Then she grabbed the glass-cleaner and started wiping down the tanks...Just a small thing, but it was huge! She keeps telling me that I need to show her how to take care of things down there in case I am away for whatever reason...but she never showed interest. Showing someone how to care for fish when they have no interest is very scary...especially when there's Leo's involved. So now...one little thing at a time, I can begin to explain the how's, why's, and what's. A 'to-do' list of chores would help me go away for a day...but I need to feel comfortable knowing that she is ready for some of the potential problems that could come about.
And for a small update- I have 2 of the new tanks now with water in them (nothing is plumbed, I'm using sponge filters and canisters for now). One of them I put some of my first generation Blues in, and the very next day, they had bred. I still have more tanks to drill, and more re-enforcement on the shelves before I fill other tanks, but having a new breeding colony already going is cool.
Tomorrow I am (subject to confirmation) getting a shipment from a different source of Blues. These, I am told, are Israeli imports...something I'm very excited about. I've made a new friend in the business while finding these and I am hoping that these are some really superior genetics...these fish are about 2" now...We'll see what they grow up to be. I may cross them into my own lines, or I may just scrap the genetics I have now and use only these... But the end result (I hope) is a higher quality end product. If nothing else, I will bring some genetic diversity into muy own lines which will "refresh" my process of line-breeding.
Have a great day. I'll be in the fishroom.
Mike
