So, Tiger Woods admits to the affair...
- Thread starter 12 Volt Man
- Start date
It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these b*tches would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these b*tches would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
Lissaspence;3700846; said:
This is why I said it is bred from ignorance: You don't know me. You have not met everyone in the world. Until you have met every single man, and confirmed that every single man has cheated, to say every man cheats is ignorant. Otherwise, you are making a broad assumption based on a extremely small sampling.
Chew on this: Let's say you have met 100 guys a day, and confirmed that every man you have met has cheated on you. Let's say you are 50. (Not trying to offend, merely making a point.) If you are 50, and have met (and confirmed a cheat) 100 guys a day, starting when you were born, you would have met: 1,825,000 cheating men.
Currently, the worlds population sits at around 6.7 billion people. Let's be extremely conservative, and say men represent 20% of the population. In that case, you would still have only met a mere .1% of the men. (That's one tenth of a percent).
tiger is a man before anything else. i'm sure alot of people would have been in the same predicament if they where in tigers shoes!
As if things are'nt bad enough for the wood man,one of his doctors has been busted for being in possesion of human growth hormone.
1) Maybe people should realize there is no universal paradigm of morality, stop judging him, and let the man deal with his own affairs.
2) Why the hell would a golfer need human growth hormone?
2) Why the hell would a golfer need human growth hormone?
Golfers need HGH for the same reasn baseball players do. Add power to their hitting and/or speed up recovery from injuries
....back on topic..........
Tiger dies in another car accident and goes to hell for his transgressions, where the devil is waiting. "I don't know what to do. You're on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay, so here's the deal. I've got some folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go and let you take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Tiger thought that sounded good, so the devil opened the door to the first room.
In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving and surfacing, empty handed. Over and over he dived and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell. "No," Tiger said. "I don't think so. I never was a good swimmer--just a good golfer." The devil nodded and led him to the next room.
In it was George Bush with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer endlessly. He paused to ask Satan if his "mission was accomplished", and the devil told him he wasn't even close. "No, this is no good, said Tiger. I've got a problem with my shoulder from too many golf swings. I would be in constant agony."
The devil opened a third door. Through it, Tiger saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed with his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica, doing what she does best. Tiger grinned from ear to ear and said, "Yeah, Mr. Devil, I can handle this."
The devil returned his smile before saying, "OK, Monica, you're free to go."
....back on topic..........
Tiger dies in another car accident and goes to hell for his transgressions, where the devil is waiting. "I don't know what to do. You're on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay, so here's the deal. I've got some folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go and let you take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Tiger thought that sounded good, so the devil opened the door to the first room.
In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving and surfacing, empty handed. Over and over he dived and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell. "No," Tiger said. "I don't think so. I never was a good swimmer--just a good golfer." The devil nodded and led him to the next room.
In it was George Bush with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer endlessly. He paused to ask Satan if his "mission was accomplished", and the devil told him he wasn't even close. "No, this is no good, said Tiger. I've got a problem with my shoulder from too many golf swings. I would be in constant agony."
The devil opened a third door. Through it, Tiger saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed with his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica, doing what she does best. Tiger grinned from ear to ear and said, "Yeah, Mr. Devil, I can handle this."
The devil returned his smile before saying, "OK, Monica, you're free to go."
