U GOT JOKES?

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There was a woman who wanted to supprise her husband with something nice for his b-day. He was well endowed but he had a high voice.

So she went to a doctor and she inquires about deepening his voice. The first thing doc, who already has a really really deep voice asks .... Is he well endowed.... she replies verry. the doc says thats the problem. We need to remove some and his voice will deepen right up!


She waits till the day and tells her husband she made an appointment,...he at first was reluctant but decided if it would make it better for her, hell i'll do anything!

They have the procedure and he sounded like james earl jones... (or jim jones for those who are too young to know james earl jones had a very deep voice)

A couple weeks go by and they missed the hang time!

So they go see about a reversal back to the high voice and the big unit. When they sit down the doctor looked real nearvous. They ask so what can be done? The doc who now has a very high voice squeeks sorry too late!!!
 
This ones old and bad!


What do monica lewinskey and ed mcmahon have in common?




They always have a wad of bills in there hand!
 
The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can
Be THE Man Of Your House."

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on,
you need to know that I am the man of This house and my word is Law.
You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished
eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner,
you are going to go upstairs with me and we will do what "I" want.
Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will
wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will
massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress
me and comb my hair?"

The wife replied, "The freakin' funeral director would be my first
guess."
 
another good one!!! LOL
NIne of the greatest positions in BED":D :D :D !

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The Picture below has 2 Identical dolphins in it. Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water, the dolphins are Identical ..in spite of the fact that the dolphins are Identical a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins.. The more differences a person finds between the dolphins, the more stress a person is experiencing.. if you find any differences you may want to take a vacation..:D
 
Ok here's one:

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
 
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