U GOT JOKES?

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Razman;828704; said:
wait...........what? im confused, did i miss something? how do i dance?you dont know me, do you? do you spy on me Liz? how would you know how i dance? where did my sandwich go? and besides i dont dance like that. are you making fun of me Liz? gosh, your mean:cry:.

No I wouldn't make fun of you..don't you remenber the video joke you posted of the guy dancing around in all the different countries and places ...and i teased you saying that was you...:D :D
 
BIGSTEVE;812096; said:
A woman in her fifties is at home, happily jumping unclothed on her bed and squealing with delight.

Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"

The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care what you think. I just came back from having a mammogram and the doctor said not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18-year-old."

The husband then asks, "What did he say about your 52-year-old ass ?"

"Oh, he never mentioned you," she replies.

haha just saw this ..good one!!!;)
 
Razman;828704; said:
wait...........what? im confused, did i miss something? how do i dance?you dont know me, do you? do you spy on me Liz? how would you know how i dance? where did my sandwich go? and besides i dont dance like that. are you making fun of me Liz? gosh, your mean:cry:.

I looked all through this thread trying to find the guy dancing on you tube..and quess what i cannot find it.. maybe it is a figment of my amagination.. :D :D
 
naw ive seen it too.



The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her

The man said, You cant be serious. I could never shoot my wife. The agent said, Then youre not the right man for this job.

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. I tried, but I cant kill my wife.

The agent said, You dont have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.

Finally, it was the womans turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. Then the agents heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair.
 
BIGgourami;828731; said:
naw ive seen it too.



The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her

The man said, You cant be serious. I could never shoot my wife. The agent said, Then youre not the right man for this job.

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. I tried, but I cant kill my wife.

The agent said, You dont have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.

Finally, it was the womans turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. Then the agents heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair.
Good one..and thanks for letting me know you saw it too...Razman will believe me now!! Haha
 
A couple from two well known folks....


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend... if you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw
to Winston Churchill ..........

....followed by


Churchill's response: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second,
if there is one." -- Winston Churchill
 
heres another:nilly:
"The Four Stages OF Life" sorry it would not upload pic..
 
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