The funny messed up things we do to by accident or design to our significant others, loved ones, family and friends. We all have our habits and personalities and aspects of them we know aren't quite right. Some of us take jokes too far, just have annoying habits or have a situation that because of us have caused those closest to us wind up holding the short end of the stick in a funny way. At least I do, I've got stories and I imagine others do as well. So I'd like to hear them. Stuff you've done or stories you've heard or witnessed that where funny in a messed up way. I'll go first.
"Why is it so warm?"
I had an Ex I was seeing for a time who had a brother in prison. Apparently she had wrote about me but since this was her first visit to him in awhile since he'd been transferred she decided at the last minute that perhaps I should wait outside and come in at her next visit.
Now the prison was quite a drive away and I'm a human sponge with a taste for Coke and I had been throwing some big MIc-E-Dees drinks back during the ride. It was cold and snowing and the cold and loads of soda are a bad mix. So I'm shaking like a mad man having to go something fierce. I look in the rear view mirror at the Prison and realize I never watched her go in and I don't see a door anywhere and the place is huge. No problem right? I'll just do the normal man thing and go alfresco. But wait it's a prison and there are cameras everywhere and there are other people in their cars in the lot. Ah, then I see it my salvation, my empty Mic-E-Dees cup. I've got limo tints no biggie I'll just pop a squirt right here in the car.
Well quite awhile later my Ex returns and I'm just happy to get out of there, so I start putting on my seat belt. As I turn to grab my belt I suddenly hear "Ugh, why is this so warm?" I turn around quickly and she knew by the expression on my face. "Oh. my god! Oh my frickin god Josh tell me you didn't!!" I'm sorry I started laughing which just pissed her off(pun not intended) more. Oh the expletives that left her mouth as she tried to spit out what she had already swallowed. When she had finally stopped she glared at me and said "you better not tell anyone". So the very last thing I said to her sister as I dropped her off to her sister was of course this very story.
"Why is it so warm?"
I had an Ex I was seeing for a time who had a brother in prison. Apparently she had wrote about me but since this was her first visit to him in awhile since he'd been transferred she decided at the last minute that perhaps I should wait outside and come in at her next visit.
Now the prison was quite a drive away and I'm a human sponge with a taste for Coke and I had been throwing some big MIc-E-Dees drinks back during the ride. It was cold and snowing and the cold and loads of soda are a bad mix. So I'm shaking like a mad man having to go something fierce. I look in the rear view mirror at the Prison and realize I never watched her go in and I don't see a door anywhere and the place is huge. No problem right? I'll just do the normal man thing and go alfresco. But wait it's a prison and there are cameras everywhere and there are other people in their cars in the lot. Ah, then I see it my salvation, my empty Mic-E-Dees cup. I've got limo tints no biggie I'll just pop a squirt right here in the car.
Well quite awhile later my Ex returns and I'm just happy to get out of there, so I start putting on my seat belt. As I turn to grab my belt I suddenly hear "Ugh, why is this so warm?" I turn around quickly and she knew by the expression on my face. "Oh. my god! Oh my frickin god Josh tell me you didn't!!" I'm sorry I started laughing which just pissed her off(pun not intended) more. Oh the expletives that left her mouth as she tried to spit out what she had already swallowed. When she had finally stopped she glared at me and said "you better not tell anyone". So the very last thing I said to her sister as I dropped her off to her sister was of course this very story.
