'Prince William'
My Mum is usually the victim of our jokes, with me and my partner it's our sense of humour that probably annoys everyone so much. My brother shares our wicked sense of humour, so inevitably it's our Mum that takes all the stick.
I can't believe I'm actually going to post this. I apologise now to any fans of the UK Royals. I know some people get really fanatical about the Royals. Please note, it was 100% a joke and just meant to wind her up, so please don't take offence!!
My Mum recently had to go to hospital, and the air ambulance came out to her along with some ground ambulances. In the UK, in the area that I live, Prince William works as a helicopter pilot for the East Anglian Air Ambulance which is a very amazing service available for medical emergencies. I owe them a lot of thanks for helping my Mum.
So anyway, she was in hospital, very delirious and confused because she was so ill, and it was prime time to have her going with some stupid stuff.
I told her that Prince William was the helicopter pilot and he had come to the house to take her to hospital. We started off by saying that he had seen the mess in the kitchen and the horrible patterned carpet in her bedroom (I always rib her on the old carpet), and that he had seen her in her revealing night gown and that she vomited ALL over him.
We went on to say that she had started having a go at him, telling him that he was a German (Touchy subject, but true), that he had a 'buck toothed squish nosed pug face', that he was ugly, that his mum wore too many shoulder pads and she had bad hair, that she kept imitating his facial expressions and insulting him, etc. I don't know how we kept a straight face when she was saying "Really?", "No I didn't!", You're lying!". Eventually, we got her to believe us. We really had her going on this.
We carried on, telling her that because her behaviour towards him was so bad in her delirious state, Prince William had called his father, Prince Charles to come to the house and deal with her. We said that he was fine with the insults until she started on Princess Diana, and that was one step too far. We were really ribbing her about it, saying "How could you insult his mum, she was so lovely. He was just trying to help you." blah blah blah.
We said that she had been taken to London's Hospital, because she had been so nasty that Prince Charles had banned her from East Anglia, and that she now wasn't allowed to go to the local hospital.
She was so shocked, because she would NEVER say anything like this to anyone, but she believed us, and she was mortified!
We told her that the air ambulance had landed on the garage, (it was actually in a field) and that they had to hoist her up onto the garage roof, but because she having a go at Prince William so much and she was being so nasty that he had dangled her off the roof and we had to catch her.
We then told her that we had recorded it all, and put it on facebook and it had gone viral, and that all her friends and family had seen it. We went as far as to say that all the people she didn't like and the neighbours had commented and liked it and it was now in the newspaper. This went on for hours. We would have some normal conversation, and then we would just add in "I can't believe you insulted Prince William and the Royal Family."
We even played a the audio from some video of some woman screaming abuse at hospital staff to make her believe us.
She took this like champ, we had her hook line and sinker, and when we told her it was a joke, luckily she saw the funny side of it and just shook her head at us smiling, saying "You're all so mean! I knew Prince William and Prince Charles didn't come to the house! I knew I wouldn't have insulted him!"
Bless her.
I frequently torment her. I promise her nice food, then serve her a teaspoon of it and tell her that there's no more left, or we tell her that there's no food left at all, I tell her that her TV or satellite box has broken all the time, and strangely she always believes me.
I tell her that her dog has pooped all over her bed, that her dog has kicked all her pillows onto the floor (He actually does do that sometimes lol), that her dog has chewed up her TV remotes, that her friends are coming round when she is not dressed or is ill.
A while back, we put a photo of a deer as her phone background when she accidentally hit one with her car and she didn't know how to change it to something else, and the next few weeks was full of cringe worthy deer puns. We frequently tell her that everyone from her favourite TV shows has died. We call our granddad and shove the phone at her to make her talk to him when she really doesn't want too and other really stupid stuff like that.
The thing is, she is so easy to wind up, so it's hard not to resist. It has our family up in stitches, but she is a champ. She always see's the funny side. I love her to bits!
My brother gets it a lot too. My partner and I are so evil with winding people up!
