Deep down you know its true....

[titansfever83]

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.


Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

wet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

 

[chloe]

lol sounds about right...apart from the husband thing...and use herbal essences (WOMEN im still waiting for my orgasmic moment naked in the middle of a rainforest...or anywhere for that matter...oooops sorry men)

 

[rmorse]

x2

+1

^3 (Raised to the third power)

1^3= 1 lolz

1 x 2 + 1 ^ 3 = 9.

 

[Neervana]

How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.


Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.

Why do little boys whine?
Because they are practicing to be men.

Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.

Why can't men get mad cow disease?
Because they're all pigs.

What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."

What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted a several times.

What's the best way to kill a man?
Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
Four guys watching a football game.


What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.

ROFLMAO that is jus soooooooooooooo funny im not a man hater either lol the opposite but this is jus flippin good...this made my sig!!!

 

[titanfish]

women are good at two things only!

1. chatting rubbish

2. thinking they're clever than men(face it girls, you're not, its been scientifically proven!)


but have to admit some men f*****idiots as well

 

[LeahisAwesome]

Yeah besides the fact you just said cleverer ....
Is that even a word?

women are good at two things only!

1. chatting rubbish

2. thinking they're cleverer than men(face it girls, you're not, its been scientifically proven!)


but have to admit some men f*****idiots as well

 

[titanfish]

Yeah besides the fact you just said cleverer ....
Is that even a word?

lol oh well iv got a first class in maths anyway

 

[rmorse]

Personally, I think these jokes get old....But maybe that's just me.

And no, I'm not talking about just the "I hate men" jokes, I mean the "I hate ___" jokes as well....

 

[titanfish]

Yeah besides the fact you just said cleverer ....
Is that even a word?

is it okay now i've just edited it

 

[titanfish]

Personally, I think these jokes get old....But maybe that's just me.

And no, I'm not talking about just the "I hate men" jokes, I mean the "I hate ___" jokes as well....

you're right.