Has fishkeeping ever ruined a relationship?

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aclockworkorange said:
Dude, I've stayed with girls I wasn't that in to, every guy has I think. Sometimes you just get comfortable... You're not thinking like a guy and that's why you're drawing conclusions that aren't necessarily correct. Guys are more than capable of staying with women for extended periods of time, especially if they're busy and it's convenient--doesn't mean they're that in to it.
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Not to mention most guys don't like confrontation. Most guys would rather not be the ones to end a relationship if they can avoid it. IME, guys are more likely to drift away and/or do things that piss their girlfriend off in hopes it will be enough to get her to break up with them.
 
AutumnEffect said:
Not to mention most guys don't like confrontation. Most guys would rather not be the ones to end a relationship if they can avoid it. IME, guys are more likely to drift away and/or do things that piss their girlfriend off in hopes it will be enough to get her to break up with them.
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I have packed my things, and I had moved out at one point and he begged me to come back... because I was under the impression he wanted me gone.
 
mshill90 said:
Apparently men that aren't into women spend $3000+ dollars on an engagement ring, and propose too!
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Some guys do this just because or they feel pressured by something (parents, friends, society in general) to buy a huge expensive ring and propose, regardless of how they really feel about the relationship.
 
AutumnEffect said:
Not to mention most guys don't like confrontation. Most guys would rather not be the ones to end a relationship if they can avoid it. IME, guys are more likely to drift away and/or do things that piss their girlfriend off in hopes it will be enough to get her to break up with them.
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VERY true, excellent point. I know plenty of guys secretely miserable in their relationships (majority of my guy friends actually) but they don't end it for various reasons and their significant others really have no idea I think.
 
mshill90 said:
I have packed my things, and I had moved out at one point and he begged me to come back... because I was under the impression he wanted me gone.
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Could also go back into the codependent thing, which is not the same as love by any means. You have multiple people here telling you the same thing. HE IS NOT THAT IN TO YOU.

You can lead a horse to water....
 
Well thanks you guys.

I got the point.
 
It doesn't mean the relationship is beyond repair, but you need to be aware of it and decide where you want to go from here. Maybe you two need a break, you're freaking 21 years old. Go out, have a bit of fun for a couple months, and let him realize what it's like without you...
 
Yes, I'm 21 yrs old... but what exactly is the definition of having fun at that age? Go clubbing, go barhopping, go hang with a bunch of chicks somewhere.. sorry, not my scene. I have a close circle of friends in which I do get to go out and do things with.

For the longest time I thought things were like this because his ex hurt him really bad.. but it's not. It's probably me.

As for beyond repair.. it probably is unfortunately. He's just not a guy that changes his ways, so I have to find a way to be happy with, or without him.

But seriously guys, thanks for the advice.
 
Sorry. I know it sucks to hear, but sometime an outside view of things can see things that both parties cannot. Not that this is bad, it's just the way it is. But hopefully the outside perspective you've read here will give you some things to think about. Hard things, but relationships are never easy all the time. They take work to maintain, and both parties have to be on the same page in order for things to move forward together. And sometime things cannot move forward together, in which case both parties go their own way. Nothing wrong with this happening at all IMO. People change, relationships change. The only time there is a problem if one/both parties are not mature enough to admit this and split amicably.

In the end, only you and him know what's been going on lately as none of here are there in real life. All we can do is tell you what we see/think based on what you've posted.
 
mshill90 said:
As for beyond repair.. it probably is unfortunately. He's just not a guy that changes his ways, so I have to find a way to be happy with, or without him.

But seriously guys, thanks for the advice.
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IMO, the backbone of any good relationship is loving yourself. You cannot really love someone else if you don't love yourself. And how can you expect someone else to love you if you don't love yourself? Perhaps some time away from relationships in general would be a good idea. Clear your head, learn to be happy with who you are. I've found that guys are more attracted to girls who are confident in themselves over ones who always seems to need someone's approval. Once you are happy with yourself, being happy with someone else will be easier.

You shouldn't be in a relationship to complete yourself. You should be in a relationship to compliment yourself.
 
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