Just wondering something

skjl47

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Especially if there's a 50/50 chance we'd be divorced in 5yrs or less anyway
Hello; Nice to finds another pessimist on the forum.

I see red flags!
Hello; Yes this one is easy to see. In hindsight there were plenty of red flags prior to the "I do's" in my two failed marriages. I can see them clearly now but my mind was clouded over while courting.

You'd hope she would at least be willing to compromise, if not tell that man to run! Run for the hills!!!
Hello; Yes to this. My general advice to anyone who talks to me about getting married is this. Try to walk away from the intended mate and stay away. Only come back and do the deed (Not what you are thinking KK) and get hitched with the full understanding you are walking into an emotional meat grinder. If accepting this likely outcome you still have to be with the person, then you are too far gone and may as well accept your fate.

That is sad, but hard to really pass judgment without knowing the full story.

Are they renting? Maybe the landlord said no tanks at all and those two tanks could get them evicted?

Maybe space is extremely limited and causing too much stress?

Undisciplined kids causing issues with the tanks making them a source of arguments?
Hello; This is much too level headed and reasonable of an attitude. Much too fair and proper.

Hello; I did ask my second wife to stop smoking before we married. She did agree but never did so. ( Yeah duh; I was a dumb a** to even expect this right.) Yes a non smoker living with a smoker is not good news.
Since that divorce I will not date a woman who smokes.

One additional thing I would have to say no about is a cat. They make me get stuffed up.
 
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MrsE88

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Hello; This is much too level headed and reasonable of an attitude. Much too fair and proper.

Hello; I did ask my second wife to stop smoking before we married. She did agree but never did so. ( Yeah duh; I was a dumb a** to even expect this right.) Yes a non smoker living with a smoker is not good news.
Since that divorce I will not date a woman who smokes.
I try be level headed in my thinking. Not something I’ve always been good at, but I try.

Smoking is not something I can live with. My husband smoked before we dated and snuck a few in the beginning of our relationship. He ended up quitting in that first month. I’m very glad he did.
I believe people can change. They just have to really want it. If they don’t then anyone pushing them is just wasting their time.
 

J. H.

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I know a guy whose wife made him give up his Lexus SUV and get a hybrid for 'enviromental' reasons (they are both successful professinals, and it is a second marriage for both of them.). She later made him give up his peace lily that he had for at least twenty years, a real beauty, nearly six feet in diameter, always flowering. I thought he was nuts, but he was fine with it, or seemed to be. Years later, he's had serious heart issues and surgery, and his wife has cared for him unbelievably well, she even drives him so he can still volunteer at their local hospital and tutor kids like he used to before his heart started causing problems. (tHere's give and take, but i'm mentioning this because I think it is really incredible.) I can say that their marriage is, and was, worth unquestionably more than a car and plant, no matter how loved they were.
 
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FINWIN

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So there's this person on one of my facebook fish geek groups (say that 3x fast) who is selling his 20gallon fish tanks because the fiance says they have to go. Its just 2- 20 gallons!

I feel like "WTF dude!" I'd never let some one tell me I had to get rid of something I loved or even just liked a little. Especially if there's a 50/50 chance we'd be divorced in 5yrs or less anyway. Red flags, man! I see red flags!

What would you do? Even if its not a fish tank. Say your into cars or ...idk some other thing where your hobby accumulates things you enjoy. Does that other person really care about you if they deny you something you enjoy?(and this person is clearly enjoying in moderation! Its not like 2- 20 gallon tanks are taking up the whole house)
Sounds like that fiance is gonna be a headache down the road. If she's this anal about fish tanks, how will she be over major stuff? Sounds like a brat. He should stand his ground on this. Women that think a man's a jellyfish will take advantage every opportunity.
 

Deadliestviper7

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So there's this person on one of my facebook fish geek groups (say that 3x fast) who is selling his 20gallon fish tanks because the fiance says they have to go. Its just 2- 20 gallons!

I feel like "WTF dude!" I'd never let some one tell me I had to get rid of something I loved or even just liked a little. Especially if there's a 50/50 chance we'd be divorced in 5yrs or less anyway. Red flags, man! I see red flags!

What would you do? Even if its not a fish tank. Say your into cars or ...idk some other thing where your hobby accumulates things you enjoy. Does that other person really care about you if they deny you something you enjoy?(and this person is clearly enjoying in moderation! Its not like 2- 20 gallon tanks are taking up the whole house)
Instant divorce, if someone feels entitled enough to say things like this, they aren't worth having around.
 
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Deadliestviper7

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I've been working and providing for myself since I was fifteen years old and when I moved out I bought my own home at twenty five.I'm not used to being told what I can't do or have and I wouldn't tolerate it......that said,the guy in question reminds me of guys I've known at various past jobs who's wives or girlfriends would show up on payday and take their checks that they busted their butts the past two weeks for .
Exactly, too many people think they have a partner, but they actually have a master.
 
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