Life thoughts

[SumoNinja]

I do not know how to fly a kite.

But again, your rationale continues to be flawed, Ninja ( Panda Ninja ).

Kids should never be mixed in this discussion. ( if one looses one's kids on account of a situation such as the one we are conversing about, then I can accept the "life ruin" theory for discussion's sake ). You, however, mentioned life ruined in relation to a failed, cheated on, relationship ( no one was talking kids...).

In this day and age, people are so weak ( men and women ) that they really need to cling to someone else and they end up feeling entitled to such person, as if it was their property.

it no longer is an issue of love, of feeling welll together, but of property. It gets transformed into a contract and people really feel left down, feel cheated, because the counter party opted out, actually preferring to stay together even without love, but based on such "contract".


what a sorry state of affairs. what a poor way to face life.

his marriage is ruined. that's just stating a fact. I don't care how you look at it or how you view it. if your wife cheated on you and divorced you, your marriage would be ruined as well. it doesn't matter how you spin it. my rationale is well in tact but you can think what you want. doesn't mean you're always right, which you're not. a flawed rationale would be to deny that.

I don't know if ts has kids. but if they did, the only way his life wouldn't be ruined is if he got custody of all his kids imo. regardless, for the time being, his life is ruined. but it doesn't have to stay ruined, doesn't have to be permanent as you are assuming that it's the way I'm referring it to. people can move on and rebuild.

you can pretend to be as tough as you want, but you're not fooling me. (not to mention resorting to making fun of someone's name in a discussion only shows your character) if ts' situation were to happen to you, you couldn't look at me with a straight face and say your life isn't ruined. at least not for a while

I wonder if you ever been married and cheated on and divorced. if not, all i'm saying is, it's easier to say how "strong" and "manly" you would be when you haven't been thru that

 

[SumoNinja]

You would be sad and depressed for along time because you'd lose someone very dear to you. Would your life be ruined? No. You'd go out there and meet new people and eventually be happy again. It could take some time, but your life would not be ruined.


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who said it has to be a permanent state?

 

[SumoNinja]

if ts isn't divorced, then i'm thinking of another member

my statements were meant only if the situation had ended in divorce

if adultery was involved and you decided to stay in the marriage, then more power to you if that's what you want

 

[Miguel]

Sumo, leave the character appreciations aside, please. I was playing with you on the name thing..do not take it hard and personal.

I started by asking ( not repplied ) Savannah's age.

I can understand, perfectly, hurt and anger. I can understand the feeling of destroyed/ruined life.

But, at my age, life has shown me ( and that, as everything, is my personal opinion ) that people do take it to the "wrong extreme" ( understandable, again, when one is young and hot blooded ).

As to Kis: A relationship between civilized people ( who keep their children's interests above everything ) does not forcibly entail a separation of the kids. Main thing is kids are not used as weapons.

As to the relationship itself: (i) Relationships end; (ii) no one, but no one, owns the other persons heart; (iii) some people prefer to face this problem and follow their own way instead of living an unhappy life ( which impacts on the children, whether you want it or not ); (iv) very rarely do you find that one sole person is to blame, and (v) this type of problems should not be solved as "material disputes", because one person never is the property of another.

A person feeling that its life has been destroyed, is normal, at the onset. But such person needs to move forward, needs to have the self esteem to live life "uncommanded" by anothers atitude.

And this , the above, was what I was criticizing. You are what you make yourself out to be, and, between adults, no one should have the power to "ruin the other's life ". Nor, if you love the person who is leaving, should you use that argument to avoid such leaving. It will lead , possibly, to a temporary, false, appeasement and it will also lead to pity, and with pity comes the erosion of respect ( and, yes, love ).

I do not want to fool you, Ninja. Could care less about fooling you or to proove anything to you, or anyone else, for that matter.

I just state the way I see it. The way I see it at my age, 51, being with the mother of my six children sinc I was 18.

I have weathered a lot of storms. I have followed a lot of storms ( I have a lot of children in that "rage " age ).

I said my piece on this issue.

 

[ballinouttacntrol]

Not sure if this helps anyone form an opinion but Savannah is not married. There is a kid involved but its not hers.

You may now continue to bicker amongst yourselves

 

[SumoNinja]

Miguelito, sorry if I've offended you or your character. I didn't think you'd take that personal as well but I apologize if you did.

anyways about the discussion, nobody is talking about anybody owning anybody. you are the only one that is saying that this whole time.

at this point i don't even think we are talking about the same things anymore. what I have been talking about isn't even what you are criticizing.

thanks eddie, for clarifying the situation. if they are still in the relationship and trying to work it out then i commend ts.

i still think, whether in a marriage or relationship, if two people end up breaking up due to a straying partner, that partner ruined the relationship and their life together when they were in the relationship. yes there may be issues where both are at fault during the relationship. but that should be fixed IN the relationship and if it can't be, then break it off before climbing into someone else's bed. you ruin the bond once you do that (unless like i said, they both agree to try to fix things and stay together) and if Miguel or anyone disagrees with that then we can leave this conversation here and agree to disagree

my original statement that started this discussion was made assuming there was kid(s) involved and assuming the relationship had ended.


and Miguel, you shouldn't assume all young people are hotblooded. just like i don't assume old people are not hotblooded

in fact, i see many people who grow older and more impatient and evil

and i'm sure you've weathered storms but if you've never been cheated on or divorced, then how you say you would deal with a straying partner, I'll take with a grain of salt. not that you care to convince me anyways. and it's just my opinion

 

[Miguel]

fair enough, Friend.

No point sparring any further. Each had its say. It is all opinions, in any case. Each case is dealt the way one feels it. I just felt, on top of my wise age, that i could add something.

 

[savannah_az]

Okay to clear up a few things and answer a few questions now that I'm all caught up on what I missed. I'm 28, I have an 8 year old who looks up to this girl as a mother as her mother, well isn't much of a mom and doesn't have much of a desire to see her. I'm not married however the only thing between us and a married couple is a piece of paper. We own our house our cars and are marked together on everything ie utilities insurance etc etc etc...so far we've been together for over 3 years
I'm not willing to toss out the relationship and neither is she. I do understand why she felt the way she felt, I don't condone her behavior but at least I have a reason for why it happened. She's admitted complete fault and were working on everything. I can't say if she's telling me the truth but according to her she reached out to him as a friend and the last few weeks he pressed for more. She was the one that came forth and told me what she had done and she was sorry. This is why I feel the need to do something. She is to blame and were working on that, but to me so is he and we doesn't even have the balls to acknowledge to me this happened.


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[JKM]

I agree with Miguel, seems like nowadays there are no family values and overly effeminate "men" are everywhere.

We're a few years away from seeing "men" having breakdowns in the supermarket over what foot moisturiser to buy, pathetic.

 

[Mount_Prion]

I agree with Miguel, seems like nowadays there are no family values and overly effeminate "men" are everywhere.

We're a few years away from seeing "men" having breakdowns in the supermarket over what foot moisturiser to buy, pathetic.

For the record, I buy nice personal hygiene products and wear fashionable stuff. I can't open a stuck can, and sometimes need help changing the lights.

But women love me. They love Prince, too.

Just saying, there's more than one way to go about it. Sorry for derail.