More of a controlling relationship question.

[TheNewSeverum]

At any rate my view is you are wrong when taking a day off if for a trivial reason.

I guess I should have worded the thing more properly. It's more of was I wrong to take a day off that she also wasn't off. Not to mention, my department has over 50 people. No bind here.

 

[Warborg]

Yes, I wanted other peoples opinions, but people seem to be looking at this from another point.

Wasn't that the point of this thread? Otherwise why create it if you wanted everyone to agree with you?

 

[TheNewSeverum]

People are kind of steering away from the main issue, regardless as to the reason I took the day off, the fact it was not the same day she was off and she blew her top about it and started an argument. I want someone to tell me how that is wrong if its my time off, my PTO. Not hers.

 

[celebrist]

My wife doesn't mind if I take a day off to take care of things but I also don't go out with my buddies till 2 am all the time or go on vacation/holiday, with my friends instead of her either sounds like you have a different perspective on what a relationship is than those that have been on one for a long time

 

[TheNewSeverum]

I guess to clear up some other things, it was 1 vacation that I got asked to go on which costed me almost nothing, I also hang out with my friends maybe twice, if not three times a month. I mean I guess being single would probably be better lol

 

[skjl47]

Hello; One last thing for consideration. When this thread first started you had several posters on your side. I just checked and see that you got five votes in the "absolutely not -shes out of her mind".
Maybe they are still with you and will chime in with some useful insights.

I do not think I have any thing more of value to add and will wish you good luck.

 

[Kittiee Katt]

The difference between 27 and 20 is small in years but the difference between 9 years as an adult and 2 is massive. If she's the kind I imagine she may have even less experience as an adult and perhaps you more. Nothing wrong with this, it's a natural phenomenon but it can give vastly different viewpoints on a scenario like this. No one here will be able to give you perfect advice as an outsider but take everything with a grain of salt and look for positivity.

With this in mind, here's my two cents.

Shes 20 and I'm 27. I'll be damned if a 20 year old will dictate my life.

Maturity - big factor. This bit right here says to me that you think she is less mature than you. With a 7 year age gap at your ages it would be reasonable to believe that you are, in fact, more mature than her.

You have two options: you can either leave her or you can wait it out and hope she matures in a few more years (which is likely to happen given her age).

If you wait it out you will need to have patience, she may grow up a bit in the next few months or it could take years. You will have to accept that she's younger than you and it will take her time to grow up. Think how much you've matured since being her age, she's just out of her teens and you're almost 30 - there's a lot of growing up that happens between those years.

If you can't be bothered with her get out now. Don't waste years of both your lives if you can't be bothered waiting for her to grow up.

Just my thoughts.

 

[jaws7777]

I want someone to tell me how that is wrong if its my time off, my PTO. Not hers.

S skjl47 is giving you the possible reason. You dont like them.

People are kind of steering away from the main issue

Not really u asked for advice but left out plenty of info. As the thread progressed new things came to light and the opinion in her being wrong is shifting.

Good luck