she is doing much better. i can tell she is much more alert, and very playful and active. thanks to all of those of you who helped, its good to know there are people out there to help and not just criticize. i did try very hard and i do feel bad about the male dieing. the more i think about it, it may be something in the sand... before i got the rays, i knew i hadnt cleaned the sand since setup and before a 75% WC i stripped down and jumped in there and stirred up all the sand well, but i didnt move it like they did. she literally has a 6" tall sand bed running the center of my tank and bare sides from her swimming up the sides lol. she keeps moving it and playing on it so im going to keep an eye on it and hopefully never have to deal with this again. thanks guys (still suprised nobody has seen this? caution it is VERY fast, maybe 48 hrs from the time i first noticed it on her to the time it was gone on her. the male died in less than 72 hrs from the first i noticed it)