U GOT JOKES?
- Thread starter tankyou
- Start date
"
Two Brooms are Hanging in the closet"and after awhile they get to know each other so well they decide to get married
One Broom of course was the bride broom and the other the groom broom
The bride broom looked beautiful in her white dress
And the groom Broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo
The wedding was absolutely lovely
After the wedding dinner, the bride broom leaned over and said to groom broom " I think i am going to have a little whisk broom"!
Impossible said the groom broom are you ready for this......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................We haven't even swept together.........sounds like to me someone has been sweeping around.!
Two Brooms are Hanging in the closet"and after awhile they get to know each other so well they decide to get married
One Broom of course was the bride broom and the other the groom broom
The bride broom looked beautiful in her white dress
And the groom Broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo
The wedding was absolutely lovely
After the wedding dinner, the bride broom leaned over and said to groom broom " I think i am going to have a little whisk broom"!
Impossible said the groom broom are you ready for this......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................We haven't even swept together.........sounds like to me someone has been sweeping around.!
Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip
that can store and play music in women's breast implants. The
iBreast will cost between $499 and $599. This is considered to be a
major breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
Thanks to Apple, now everyone is happy.
that can store and play music in women's breast implants. The
iBreast will cost between $499 and $599. This is considered to be a
major breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
Thanks to Apple, now everyone is happy.
The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her young students so she took him aside after class one day.
'Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?'
'I'm in love,' replied Little Johnny.
Holding back an urge to smile, the teacher asked, 'With whom?'
'With you!' he said.
'But Little Johnny,' said the teacher gently, 'don't you see how silly that is? Sure I'd like a husband of my own someday... but I don't want a child.'
'Oh, don't worry,' said Little Johnny reassuringly, 'I'll use a condom!'
'Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?'
'I'm in love,' replied Little Johnny.
Holding back an urge to smile, the teacher asked, 'With whom?'
'With you!' he said.
'But Little Johnny,' said the teacher gently, 'don't you see how silly that is? Sure I'd like a husband of my own someday... but I don't want a child.'
'Oh, don't worry,' said Little Johnny reassuringly, 'I'll use a condom!'
One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday.
On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are in the beach?"
Needless to say, no one could answer.
The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, "How many stars are in the sky?" and again no one could answer.
Frustrated, little Johnny decides that the next Friday, he would somehow answer the question and get a 3 day weekend. So Thursday night, Johnny takes two ping-pong balls and paints them black. The next day, he brings them to school in a paper bag.
At the end of the day, just when the teacher says, "Here's this week's question," Johnny empties the bag to the floor sending the ping-pong balls rolling to the front of the room. Because they are young kids who find any disruption of class amusing, the entire class starts laughing.
The teacher says, " Okay, who's the comedian with the black balls?"
Immediately, little Johnny stands up and says, "Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday!"
On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are in the beach?"
Needless to say, no one could answer.
The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, "How many stars are in the sky?" and again no one could answer.
Frustrated, little Johnny decides that the next Friday, he would somehow answer the question and get a 3 day weekend. So Thursday night, Johnny takes two ping-pong balls and paints them black. The next day, he brings them to school in a paper bag.
At the end of the day, just when the teacher says, "Here's this week's question," Johnny empties the bag to the floor sending the ping-pong balls rolling to the front of the room. Because they are young kids who find any disruption of class amusing, the entire class starts laughing.
The teacher says, " Okay, who's the comedian with the black balls?"
Immediately, little Johnny stands up and says, "Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday!"
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.
When little Johnny received his plate he started eating right away.
"Johnny wait until we say our prayer."
"I don't have to." The boy replied.
"Of course, you do," his mother insisted.
"We say a prayer before eating at our house."
"That's our house," Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook!"
When little Johnny received his plate he started eating right away.
"Johnny wait until we say our prayer."
"I don't have to." The boy replied.
"Of course, you do," his mother insisted.
"We say a prayer before eating at our house."
"That's our house," Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook!"
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!
