What do yall think about married people who keep separate bank accounts? Is it normal or strange for married folks to keep the money they make to themselves?
Married People with Separate Monies
- Thread starter SumoNinja
- Start date
So strange, I know a married couple that do separate accounts. Seems selfish to me unless you have a spouse with a terrible spending problem.
Hello; I understand the concept in a marriage is that the couple pulls together sharing the burdens and the expenses. Personal experience and observation of other couples leads me to say "it ain't necessarily so."
One of the main things that ought to be considered in a spouse or "life partner" is their financial habits and history. Sounds hard nosed but love does not conquer all, at least when money is involved. I have had two wives, now x-wives. One good with money and the other poor with money.
Basically do not get committed to a person who maxes out credit cards and has no concept of saving for the future. It may seem selfish to keep some of the monies separated , likely however the wiser path. Having been thru the experience of living with a free spender I can say having separate accounts is a wise thing.
I also agree I find it a little strange unless one can't manage their money/refuses to find a job/has an expensive addiction.
I guess what I don't get is, who pays what bills? Does everything get split down the middle like when living with friends? What happens when kids need new shoes, who buys them?
But overall I guess it depends on the dynamics of the relationship, if having a "my money/your money" system works for some, then who am I to say its wrong?
I guess what I don't get is, who pays what bills? Does everything get split down the middle like when living with friends? What happens when kids need new shoes, who buys them?
But overall I guess it depends on the dynamics of the relationship, if having a "my money/your money" system works for some, then who am I to say its wrong?
I know a guy who's a bit sensitive that his wife makes more bread than he does, midwest provider mindset. They have separate accounts and I'd imagine it makes it easier not being reminded of it every time you check the ole balance. She just spoils him with all kinds of stuff I'm jealous of.
hello; I guess the ideal situation is when both people pool their money and together decide how to spend and save it. If a person is lucky enough to find a like minded partner then it should all work out.
The problems come about when one is a spender and the other is a saver. My second wife was a spender while I am a saver. I recall the first day I left for work after the honey moon. ( I was the only one with a job.) I showed her a small stash of cash I kept in the house for use if some emergency came up. Well she had an "emergency" that very day and spent that cash and the cash I had already given her. It never got any better.
Her mother should have been a clue. I recall when we were dating how her mother spent the bill money for the month at a local carnival.
That's pretty much what my ex and I done. When we split up everything we'd saved got spit down the middle. If our cats need to go to the vet (or when in one of their cases) the cost of the vet gets spit down the middle. As will the cost of their food until I have a house that will allow me to have two of them.
Even if someone can't manage money or has an expensive addiction I see no reason why income should be kept separate. Surely the "spender" as you referred to them must realize that they're terrible with money so wouldn't it make sense to let the "saver" hold onto both parties moneys anyway and just give the "spender" a set amount every week/month/whatever to spend? Idk, maybe I'm young and naïve but that just seems like the most sensible thing to do imo.
I find the separate acct thing odd.
My In-Laws do this, but this was never even discussed b/w my wife and I after we were married. I just assumed you share acct when you're married. Her brother and his wife doesn't do the separate acct thing either. They find it odd as well.
While the separate banking acct is strange and all, I suppose its still a lot, lot less strange than the open marriage concept imo
My In-Laws do this, but this was never even discussed b/w my wife and I after we were married. I just assumed you share acct when you're married. Her brother and his wife doesn't do the separate acct thing either. They find it odd as well.
While the separate banking acct is strange and all, I suppose its still a lot, lot less strange than the open marriage concept imo
I don't think it's too weird. My parents have split accounts, and I think one main account for bills and whatnot.
Whatever works for a couple
Whatever works for a couple
His money is my money...I mean OURS
However, I don't find it weird if a couple wants to have separate accounts..
However, I don't find it weird if a couple wants to have separate accounts..