Married People with Separate Monies

[vitaly]

My wife makes more than me but we share our money. I'm a big spender so it's kind of good in a way. Now my brother n laws both have separate accts and it's so weird because for them it's my money not yours. I feel that's very selfish when your married and have kids!

I am not married, but I think it's weird to have joint accounts. I've earned that money, so it is "My Money". A wife better have a job and earn her way, she is not a child to be taken care of. Also, it would be weird (for me) to ask wife /girlfriend to use my own money if we had a joint account.

I had a co-worked who called his wife in front of me to ask her if he can buy concert tickets))) What a loser))) And he was the one making all the money!!!!

 

[vitaly]

My wife makes more than me but we share our money. I'm a big spender so it's kind of good in a way. Now my brother n laws both have separate accts and it's so weird because for them it's my money not yours. I feel that's very selfish when your married and have kids!

I am not married, but I think it's weird to have joint accounts. I've earned that money, so it is "My Money". A wife better have a job and earn her way, she is not a child to be taken care of. Also, it would be weird (for me) to ask wife /girlfriend to use my own money if we had a joint account.

I had a co-worked who called his wife in front of me to ask her if he can buy concert tickets))) What a loser))) And he was the one making all the money!!!!

 

[celebrist]

A good marriage needs three individuals:
He, she, and we.

 

[xraycer]

I am not married, but I think it's weird to have joint accounts. I've earned that money, so it is "My Money". A wife better have a job and earn her way, she is not a child to be taken care of. Also, it would be weird (for me) to ask wife /girlfriend to use my own money if we had a joint account.

I had a co-worked who called his wife in front of me to ask her if he can buy concert tickets))) What a loser))) And he was the one making all the money!!!!

My wife and I are adults and we respect each other as such, so we do not ask permission to buy anything. However, we do discuss with each other when it comes to expensive/costly things, since we have 3 children to raise.

 

[skjl47]

Surely the "spender" as you referred to them must realize that they're terrible with money so wouldn't it make sense to let the "saver" hold onto both parties moneys anyway and just give the "spender" a set amount every week/month/whatever to spend? Idk,

Hello; At least one for sure answer is it is not surely understood and no they may not realize. If money exists and the have a way to get at it, the money will be spent. Among the many things a couple needs to get sorted out before the "I Do's" is money. Who has it. Who owes what. Who feels better with six months of expenses in the bank and who is fine paycheck to paycheck. I think it is right up there with children or no children.

There were collection people after me at one time. So, we opened an account just in her name and pulled nearly all out of my mine.

Hello; an excellent reason for separate accounts.

What is the purpose of getting married if you're not a team?

Hello; A fair question and one I did ponder until after my two failed marriages. That is the romantic idealized concept of marriage. Together in harness working toward a common goal. Nice if you happen to get it.

Not sure now but not long ago the number of failed marriages was over 50%. Flip a coin and you get better odds. If you do not know stories of how unpleasant life can be after a divorce let me know, I can bore you with a couple. It is bad enough to lose a love of your life but financial disaster is a form of pilling on hat can perhaps be lessened.

My guess is after ten or fifteen years a marriage may be stable enough to safely go to the joint funds route. My first marriage ended after almost 13 years. I slept on the floor in a nearly empty rented house for a while.

 

[J. H.]

I am not married, and for religious reasons, have no girlfriend. I got to college to be able to make money later so I could share it with my (future) wife. If I didn't want to get married, I'd quit college and try startup companies, maybe an aquaponics farm. I feel that you get married and share the $, or how can it work? I've tried many projects with friends, (dugout canoe, airplane that was never finished, raised a starling chick that fell out of its nest, carved a wooden chessboard and pieces, etc.), and I find that unless you split the money from the start and share expenses without counting how many pennies each person put in, the project just can't work. I don't see why marriage should be different, but how should I know?

 

[darth pike]

In this day and age with electronic notifications and emails of card purchases, having a smaller separate account (while still having a shared, main account) just makes sense in terms of presents (b-day, xmas, anniversary) unless you want that surprise spoiled every time.

 

[Kittiee Katt]

Hello; At least one for sure answer is it is not surely understood and no they may not realize. If money exists and the have a way to get at it, the money will be spent. Among the many things a couple needs to get sorted out before the "I Do's" is money. Who has it. Who owes what. Who feels better with six months of expenses in the bank and who is fine paycheck to paycheck. I think it is right up there with children or no children.

Fair enough, I've only ever had one serious relationship that only lasted about eight and a half years so I don't exactly have lots of experience. We had an "our money" system and that worked for us, but if other couples feel the need to keep their monies separate then who am I to say they shouldn't?

We didn't start with an "our money" system, it was only when we moved in together that we combined our money (and the rest of our lives), technically we still had separate bank accounts but the money in them was both of ours. It worked for us and that's really all that matters I guess.

 

[Dieselhybrid]

In this day and age with electronic notifications and emails of card purchases, having a smaller separate account (while still having a shared, main account) just makes sense in terms of presents (b-day, xmas, anniversary) unless you want that surprise spoiled every time.

I agree entirely. Cash is still king for this reason.

 

[xraycer]

In this day and age with electronic notifications and emails of card purchases, having a smaller separate account (while still having a shared, main account) just makes sense in terms of presents (b-day, xmas, anniversary) unless you want that surprise spoiled every time.

Bank accts are shared, but only some of our credit cards are shared. So, presents or surprised events are not really an issue....unless your partner is a snooper and puts fourth the efforts to do so.