Married People with Separate Monies

Warborg

Goliath Tigerfish
MFK Member
Sep 2, 2009
3,337
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179
Austin, Texas
I have some friends that do have their own accounts. The husband never lets the wife touch his. I'm not sure whose paying the bills. He had 2 cars and she had one. One time her's broke down. He refused to let her use his other car and even made her get her car fixed(did nothing to help her). When my wife has car troubles, I give her 'mine' and I take over responsibility for the broken one.
 

SumoNinja

Polypterus
MFK Member
Jun 9, 2007
1,637
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I'm Where I'm At
I didn't like the situation. I have a good paying job and ran up the credit card but was paying it on time. Then I lost my job. I also had a protection plan in place with them that if I lost my job they would freeze the account until I got another job. When I called and told them I lost my job, they refused. They locked the account and doubled the interest rate, penalized me for being late and going over the limit. If the payment was $100, it became $170. They also told me I would have to apply for the protection plan(even though I'd been paying for it for 2 years). When the application came it requested that I get a hand signature of my last 5 bosses(which was impossible since some of the companies I worked for totally dissolved).

A year later I was still living off my parents handouts to keep the house and car. I tried a comission based job that promised a good salary but it just sucked more money out of me(gas money). By this time the Credit company double the amount on the card(around $8,000). When I finally got a good job and could stop living off of soup and mac&cheese they had the debt at nearly $20,000. A few years later they claimed I owed $60,000. This was all off of about $4,000

Originally, I wanted to file bankruptcy. But zero money in equals zero money out. I then got married and urged caution to the wife about this. A few more years passed before the 'seized' our account. I went ahead a filed bankruptcy at this point.

I did feel bad over this at first, I knew it was money I owed...but they had fault in this as well.
lol, borg, i was just teasing you dude. totally get it, believe me, i've had my fair share of collection agencies calling me for a few years. really, i was just taking a friendly jab at you buddy

it sounds like you got shafted. in my case i was just an inconsiderate, irresponsible idiot. but it all comes back to haunt you at some point in your life. it caught up to me when i got married and needed to start financing stuff, like cars and homes and things like that.
 

SumoNinja

Polypterus
MFK Member
Jun 9, 2007
1,637
206
96
I'm Where I'm At
I didn't like the situation. I have a good paying job and ran up the credit card but was paying it on time. Then I lost my job. I also had a protection plan in place with them that if I lost my job they would freeze the account until I got another job. When I called and told them I lost my job, they refused. They locked the account and doubled the interest rate, penalized me for being late and going over the limit. If the payment was $100, it became $170. They also told me I would have to apply for the protection plan(even though I'd been paying for it for 2 years). When the application came it requested that I get a hand signature of my last 5 bosses(which was impossible since some of the companies I worked for totally dissolved).

A year later I was still living off my parents handouts to keep the house and car. I tried a comission based job that promised a good salary but it just sucked more money out of me(gas money). By this time the Credit company double the amount on the card(around $8,000). When I finally got a good job and could stop living off of soup and mac&cheese they had the debt at nearly $20,000. A few years later they claimed I owed $60,000. This was all off of about $4,000

Originally, I wanted to file bankruptcy. But zero money in equals zero money out. I then got married and urged caution to the wife about this. A few more years passed before the 'seized' our account. I went ahead a filed bankruptcy at this point.

I did feel bad over this at first, I knew it was money I owed...but they had fault in this as well.
lol, borg, i was just teasing you dude. totally get it, believe me, i've had my fair share of collection agencies calling me for a few years. really, i was just taking a friendly jab at you buddy

it sounds like you got shafted. in my case i was just an inconsiderate, irresponsible idiot. but it all comes back to haunt you at some point in your life. it caught up to me when i got married and needed to start financing stuff, like cars and homes and things like that.
 

SumoNinja

Polypterus
MFK Member
Jun 9, 2007
1,637
206
96
I'm Where I'm At
Now that I do understand your question, yes I agree; I personally don't understand the mentality either. It's one thing to have separate accounts it's another to think that you're not in it together financially. Even though I've been burned, I still am of the mind one of the most important things that a marriage should be centered around is trust. And when you truly trust someone you share everything including money.

As I said before though I'm still of the mind though that separate accounts work best to protect one another. For instance any joint credit cards become debt for the surviving spouse in the case of one passing. Your best bet would to make them a certified user instead. In an equitable state the surviving spouse would only be responsible for credit cards in their name or joint accounts. They can still choose to pay your cards if they want but are no longer held to the same responsibility and repercussions if they can't make a payment. Such as it affecting their credit score, lawsuits, frozen funds, garnishments, etc.

Unfortunately in a community state(which if remember you're in Cali which is a community state) your spouse is responsible for any debt incurred while you where married regardless if the account was in their name or not or if it was joint or not. As such when one of you passes the responsibility will fall on the surviving partner to keep up with the payments or pay off the debt.

Having separate accounts may even work in your favor in getting higher credit lines if one spouse has a lower credit score then the other. For instance let's say I have an 820 and my wife has a 748. Any interest rate and approval amount will be based on both our scores in a joint account instead of my higher score. Except when it comes to mortgages, which maybe negatively impacted by your spouses credit score regardless if their name is on it or not. If they get their own credit card their limit will be based on their score and you can get one based on yours therefore netting you more available funds and actions in the case of non payment due to job loss or other economic hardship. Unless you share a bank account as well then a portion of that can be seized. Heck such things are even legal if you're not married. Happened to me with an ex-girlfriend I shared a bank account with. Despite me proving everything in the account was money I deposited from my pay checks her credit company was allowed to freeze it and take half.


I know you where talking to skjl47 and I was about to disagree but you're right. Money problems are usually rooted in bigger problems. If it is becomes an issue it usually means at least one partner is inconsiderate, selfish or irresponsible.

TL;DR Too bad there's some good info. in there that just might be worth reading.
wow, no thank you for the info. i never even thought about those things. it's really something to think about. i didn't know cali was a community state. sounds like community states suck balls
 
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SumoNinja

Polypterus
MFK Member
Jun 9, 2007
1,637
206
96
I'm Where I'm At
I have some friends that do have their own accounts. The husband never lets the wife touch his. I'm not sure whose paying the bills. He had 2 cars and she had one. One time her's broke down. He refused to let her use his other car and even made her get her car fixed(did nothing to help her). When my wife has car troubles, I give her 'mine' and I take over responsibility for the broken one.
yea, that's exactly what i'm talking about. that is the strangest thing to me
 

isde02

Arapaima
MFK Member
Jan 4, 2011
6,050
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Ohio
My wife and I have separate accounts but we split the bills down the middle and we have access to each other's account. We both use the same bank and share a savings account.
 
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vitaly

Dovii
MFK Member
Feb 4, 2010
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this is kind of what i'm talking about, lol. you can do and live however you want. i don't judge you for it. you do you and when you're married and if you both feel that way and it works for you, by all means go for it. my only advise if you care to hear it would be just be clear about that to her before you marry her. but i think you are in for a wake up call with that mentality, lol.

and i gotta admit, it is strange to me.

but i think to call someone a loser for asking about a purchase is kind of harsh and a bit premature judgement. there's nothing wrong with letting a partner know about a purchase. maybe it's not that they are asking permission but they just have a respect and understanding to do that, maybe it's a big purchase, maybe they already have an understanding established that they would both talk about unplanned or leisure purchases. maybe she handles all the finances and he doesn't know if they have the funds, who knows?

unless you know him that well and you know that he's a wuss, then that's another thing. but you shouldn't jump to that "loser" conclusion and put anyone and everyone under that blanket

Well this guy was a pharmacist (they make over 100K), I am not sure what his wife did for a living. I suspect, nothing. To have to ask to use your own money is insane.

Anyway, I guess people who get married young do have shared account. But I am 39 and it will be a cold day in hell before some woman assumes that she can have access to everything I have worked hard to save)))) You should always contribute and help, but please keep your money separate, unless you want to lose everything you have worked hard for (divorce, wife overspending do happen and they happen often)
 

Wailua Boy

Potamotrygon
MFK Member
Jan 2, 2015
2,752
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Hawaii
It seems like most husband and wife's tend to share accounts and that works but it's whoever is non bread winner seems to hold on to that savings account they had prior to meeting but everything else is ours. lol
 

Inglorious

Piranha
MFK Member
Oct 27, 2010
2,214
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Stuck inside my own head
My ex wife likes spending all of my monies and not leaving anything for me. My current GF and I will be getting a house together in the near future and our plans are to have a joint account for bills and other set expenses that we both pay proportionally equal amounts into (I earn quite a bit more than she does), we'll also have a joint spending account for things like groceries, vet bills, other household needs. We'll also each have our own accounts where we will keep a set portion of our own income, these accounts will be for things like gifts (so they don't get spoiled) and hobbies. I can spend as much on fish and car parts as I want out of my account without permission, but need to talk things over with her before using any joint money.
 

Atfownz

Piranha
MFK Member
Jan 9, 2006
851
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Here
A saying that will help you live in peace my friends: Happy wife, happy life.


Just do what the queen asks and you will live in peace.
 
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