help me clear my head please

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Yes, two full time and two part time so that I could provide for us the best I possibly was able and make sure she has everything she could need or want (within means)

I appreciate the humor but it was pretty dry humor and all in all not real helpful lol.
 
I did the same thing,worked my ass off to put her through school,then the same result as you.

Stay strong my friend,you will get throgh this.

Oh,& I was wrong before,its not time for you to go,its time for her to go.
 
Forget "right to privacy"-she OWES you an explanation. Sit her down and make her tell you what her plans are and what she wants. In my opinion and experience you're best off cutting your losses now. If they cheat once, they absolutely will do it again. Once they cross that sort of moral line there's not ever any going back. It'll get easier and easier for her in the future. I don't envy your position but do keep in mind that with your awesome work ethics (4 jobs???) that someone who deserves someone like you will come along very quickly.
(I'm female and been married 21 yrs if experience counts)
 
she does owe him an explanation..but i think if she was going to explain, the one moment was there and never happened - when she confessed. and it sounds like she doesn't care enough to explain what happened to him. i mean...how can he trust what she says anyway, if she's like this? if he tries to force her maybe she'll make up any old story just to get him off her back - from the way she said it...it sounds like she wants to separate. like no excuse...nothing. just plain and simple, like she is expecting a divorce from him.
 
Actually you're right, Neervana. He's not going to get an explaination and if he does-how could he ever believe something she said?
 
wow, sorry to hear man! that is just wrong at so many different levels.. get out/if you can, get her out.. I'm on the same train with the others.. cheat once, never go back..

once again, I feel for you! 6 freakin years is a long time.. I'm soon on my 4th year and I'd be devestated!

and about moving your tank, if your'e in socal I'm sure some of the big boys will help you out under these circumstances!
 
The first thing I would do is GET A LAWER!
SHE has gotta move out.....as much as you love her...SHE can't stay....she CHEATED on you! Obviously she does not have the same feelings for you as you do for her....forget the explanation from her...that will come later...maybe.She knows what she has done is wrong.... Just be a man, pack her stuff and tell her she has to go. Don't talk to her about it...just do it.
Why would you leave? You did nothing wrong. She is the one that obviously does not want to be in the relationship...let her go live with her "boyfriend" or parents...whatever...not your problem! She will not have alot of sympathy from friends and family as she is the one who cheated...not you. You need to show her the consiquences to her actions...and you leaving the house will almost be like a reward to her.(she cheats on you and she gets to stay in the home that you work 4 jobs to try to maintain....while you go live in a motel!!!!) I don't think so!!
There could be 100 reasons why she cheated. I am no expert, but I have had experience with this kind of thing,(divorced with 2 kids), and it could be that you were working too much and she strayed...it could be that she just strayed "because"! There are two sides to every story...and somewhere inbetween you will find the truth.
Whatever the case may be, this is the hand you have been dealt. You need to do what is best for YOU, and her staying in that house will do nothing but eat you up inside.
You need to get legal advise to protect yourself. You have time and $$ invested into this relationship. All of which is 1/2 yours and 1/2 hers. If she has screwed you by cheating on you, she may take it further by trying to screw you financially.
There are plenty of women out there.....hate to sound shallow...but one of the best ways to forget is to be with others.
Just be glad that you don't have kids with her....at least I don't remember reading that you did....That makes things a WHOLE lot more complicated.

Get a lawer
DONT destroy any of her stuff
Get her out
Don't be rude to her....this will just bite you in the *** later...just don't talk to her.

It seems really brutal right now....but it WILL get better. You need to focus on what is best for YOU.
 
If she means alot to you right now ask her how she feels. The words "I don't know" are not the right words. If she says that don't try to change her mind just leave.
My ex did it to me also and in the end me trying to make it worked just bit me in the ass even more, made me look pathetic.
 
vaine111;3468482; said:
If she means alot to you right now ask her how she feels. The words "I don't know" are not the right words. If she says that don't try to change her mind just leave.
My ex did it to me also and in the end me trying to make it worked just bit me in the ass even more, made me look pathetic.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't even do that at this point.....she is not going to tell the truth...

...but vaine is correct...trying to make it work WILL make you look pathetic. For me if a woman cheats...that it...no second chances.

DO NOT leave that house tho...once you do, it will be extemely difficult to get back in. She cheated...she leaves....besides, you don't want her bringing her "freind" over to YOUR house....
It is a bitter pill...but she needs to swallow it.
 
When a person looks for an excuse to make the wrong they have done right. They know they are in the wrong and are trying to bring you down to their level so you will have guilt for what they did.
 
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