How can she be so hurtfull?! :'(

[skinless]

an adults perspective? maybe just your perspective.
bent over

 

[MrRngr94]

I said an adult's perspective b/c people are saying break the dude's legs, ditch her, she's a whore. That's all imature. He needs to sit and think about what he wants to do. This is between him and his girl. One of the problems with the world today is everyone is looking for an easy way out instead of actually trying to work for something.

 

[cockroach]

dude dont break the tie between you teo shatter it. end everything and go on. talk about it to your mates but not to other girls.

and dont just bang her best friend bang any and every woman she ever knew, knows or wants to know. double up the fun if you can. then her heart can feel almost what yours feels.

 

[jackterror]

I agree be mature about the situation. But she isn't worth it. Now she is in the catagory. " You can't turn a hoe into a house wife ". I also agree it takes work to make a relationship work, but she apparently she isn't mature enough to handle being in a relationship. So, forget her and move on. My motto, you only get one chance. You do something like that and you are gone. In my opinion, if you get back with some one that does that. You don't respect your self and now the other person knows. She/He can do it again, just don't get caught this time.

 

[DeLgAdO]

I said an adult's perspective b/c people are saying break the dude's legs, ditch her, she's a whore. That's all imature. He needs to sit and think about what he wants to do. This is between him and his girl. One of the problems with the world today is everyone is looking for an easy way out instead of actually trying to work for something.

im with him ^

that first part though in bold, LOL!!

 

[xxt2goodxx]

The bard part is I still really love her, and have feelings as if I want to be with her.... Anyone else been in this situation lately? or ever...?

i know how you feel dude. this was how i felt when it happned to me "even though my heart is broken in a million tiny little pieces each little tiny piece still loves you all the same"

but i have tried to learn how to think like this:
Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened. my memory is bad but i try to remember all the good times i had... they were great times... she's still a great person... but it just hurts to see her with someone else .... i say if she is happy then i'm happy... its hard to get used to it... trust me... it makes me sick to my stomach... but i'm gald she's happy even if its not with me...
Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

there are many lessons i have learned from this... i am a very apathetic person and i didnt show any emotion... i lost her and she moved on very quickly, li (neoprodigy) once told me that "love doesn't wait" and i still remember that cause he's a pretty wises guy haha.... but hey you live and you learn... i just wish i saw it sooner before it was too late

 

[awdawg]

Some body said earlier, " Break his legs " This guy probably had no idea she had a boy friend. But anyways this situation sucks. Sorry man. But it has been proven now that you need to stay away from her. She has proven herself not worth it.

Actually he knew, as a matter of fact he had a girlfriend too :-X and the last day my ex, told me that his girl came over in the morning and they had to make an excuse about who she was and why she was there.... it all really sickens me..

 

[awdawg]

ok. And here's an adult's perspective on this. It's gonna be a long one so you better go take your piss break now.

First off, I can relate to you. I met my wife when I was 18. We got married when we were 20. When I was 23 I was sent overseas, which also happenned to be durring a bad period in our marriage. I came back and found out my wife cheated. She is the only person I have ever been with, so I can relate with the whole "only person" thing. That was six years ago. I still get deployed and everytime I do it scares the hell out of me, but learning to trust your loved ones is a very slow and painful process.

Now, having said that, have you talked to her at all about it? Does she seem genuinely sorry about it? Although it's hard to believe, the number one reason women usually cheat is because they don't feel loved anymore. When someone else comes by and shows them the attention they've been wanting from you, well you can figure it out. Another thing that I have read is that with most relationships the new and exciting feeling usually wears off after about two years. That's when you finally start noticing flaws with each other and actually have to work on learning to love one another. Another thing that I have read is that people have different ways of feeling loved. Maybe you were showing her all kinds of love, but it was in the way that you feel loved and not how she feels it.

Ultimately it's up to you if you want to try and make things work or go on and hope for love to come around again. If you do decide to take her back I'd suggest both of you reading a book call The Five Love Languages. It'll also show you if she's really wanting to make this work. I know. It sounds cheesey. I thought so too, but it's a really great book. I had so many lightbulbs going off in my head while reading it. Whatever you decide I hope you can bounce back from this. Hopefully you've found some of this helpful. If you need to talk I'm on 10pm - 10am EST. Yahoo is beer_conisure@yahoo.com, MSN is MrRngr94@hotmail.com, and Google Talk is MrRngr94@gmail.com

Well she does say she's sorry and all, but then turns around and kind of also points out that she's in a big university and from a small town. Says she loves me and wants to be with me, and thats the biggest mistake of her life. But at the same time, how can I ever know she would never do it again, or that she isn't using this time to act like a complete whore, which is not what I want at all.. She has pretty much invited me to her familys thanksgiving and stuff already, and said her family still likes me and it was her messup... I dont know, its all so crazy.

 

[jackterror]

You are just going to have to make a decision for your self. No matter what any of us say, you are ultimatly going to do what you want to do.

 

[MrRngr94]

Well she does say she's sorry and all, but then turns around and kind of also points out that she's in a big university and from a small town. Says she loves me and wants to be with me, and thats the biggest mistake of her life. But at the same time, how can I ever know she would never do it again, or that she isn't using this time to act like a complete whore, which is not what I want at all.. She has pretty much invited me to her familys thanksgiving and stuff already, and said her family still likes me and it was her messup... I dont know, its all so crazy.

So she's away at college? How often do you see her and how much time does she have left there? I think her saying she's in a big school is just her way of making her feel a little less guilty about it. And unfortunately the only way you can ever know if she will do this again is by giving her a second shot and hope she learned from her past mistake. I forgave my wife, but it still hurts, even after 6 years. I also told her that if it ever happens again I will divorce her and take the kids and the house. I'm not trying to threaten her, but I am trying to make her think of what her actions can do. You have a hell of a decision to make. Don't make it based upon what I or others say or what other people might think about you. Make it based on what will truly make you happy. Good luck bro.