How do I get my GF to Like this Hobby?!

  • We are currently upgrading MFK. thanks! -neo
aldiaz33;3768739; said:
I'm going to play devil's advocate because everyone on here is only going to give you the pro fish addiction response. It's your girlfriend’s house. You seem to be filling it with tanks that she doesn't necessarily want. I don't know all the details of your situation, but I can see your hobby causing problems for your relationship. Apparently she has agreed to put a roof over your head, but did she also agree to housing your collection of fish tanks?

Sounds like you like finding deals on cheap tanks (who doesn't). I would inspect these tanks very carefully before buying. Sometimes you can find tanks for cheap because they are total junk. If one of your tanks fails, she could pull the plug on your entire operation.

If you were covering half the mortgage payment, then maybe you'd have a leg to stand on, but otherwise you need to respect that it's her house.

Disclaimer: I don't mean to be a joy kill...just giving you a difference perspective.
Click to expand...

Ditto this also. There is a difference in a hobby and an addiction as well. A hobby is a tank or two, and it's not an unreasonable request to ask someone to let you set up a single smallish tank in their home.
 
:grinno:
aldiaz33;3768739; said:
I'm going to play devil's advocate because everyone on here is only going to give you the pro fish addiction response. It's your girlfriend’s house. You seem to be filling it with tanks that she doesn't necessarily want. I don't know all the details of your situation, but I can see your hobby causing problems for your relationship. Apparently she has agreed to put a roof over your head, but did she also agree to housing your collection of fish tanks?

Sounds like you like finding deals on cheap tanks (who doesn't). I would inspect these tanks very carefully before buying. Sometimes you can find tanks for cheap because they are total junk. If one of your tanks fails, she could pull the plug on your entire operation.

If you were covering half the mortgage payment, then maybe you'd have a leg to stand on, but otherwise you need to respect that it's her house.

Disclaimer: I don't mean to be a joy kill...just giving you a difference perspective.
Click to expand...

Wow best post I have seen ... I guess there are some questions that need answers before you can get the best answer.

Do you pay for any of the house?

Do you pay for all your own fish needs?

How is your relationship otherwise , meaning is it strong enough to maybe hold a little fish stress?

Bigger tanks are always better , clutter wise. They can look cleaner and more of a decoration to the female perspective. I think by displaying a little bit of backround information (answer those questions) , will help you get the best answer for your exact situation.

Me and my girlfriend have a problem with fish. She tells me to buy her 300 dollar SW fish days before christmas and then i dont have anymore money. Then she says its fine i dont get her anything and i feel like crap. But i have a cool fish :grinno:. Then my paycheck comes , and she tells me hey lets go the LFS i saw some really cool fish!!
 
Try to find a fish that craps diamonds. :ROFL:good luck
 
-wow I didn't expect to get this many comments so quickly. I appreciate all of the advice, especially the alternative perspective from Aldiaz33. She used to keep fish and I do have a tank with her painted tetras and corycats that I take care of, these are the only fish she loves:D but I have so many tanks because the larger ones are for breeding cichlids while the smaller ones are fry growout tanks, its just necessary that I have these 10 and 20gallons.
-Yes I love gettin good deals and always run a full array of tests on the tanks/equipment I am interested in buying, if they don't let me test everything out, they don't get my money.
- I have paid for everything I have fish related though she did lone me $140 to get my first tank(72gal bow) which I paid off in 3 weeks:)
-I do live under her roof and she realized when I moved in that I would be bringing a 72gal and 110gal with me so that part she expected. She didn't know I would be getting into the cichlid breeding hobby but I have told her about it and she doesn't seem all too against.
-I pay $350 a month for the house payment and utilities so I got my stuff covered and I told her I'd pay extra to run all of my tanks...not really sure how much electricity the aquariums use, anyone have an idea?
-I have been talking to her lately about eventually opening up a shop and kid around with her about her going into business with me and selling her books, sweaters, and scarves at my fictitious cichlid shop where people can buy rare african cichlids in one part of the store and buy books & knitted things as well as chillax and read books in front of malawian display tanks in the other half of the store:)
-She seems to like this idea but I'm slowly trying to get her more into the hobby just a little bit at a time.
-We're a pretty serious couple concerning committment and have a good future plan so I don't think the fish thing will get in the way too much. I just don't want it to be something she ends up hating.
 
I'm just following along with everyone else. My gf liked fish, but not as much as I did. Involve her as much as you can when researching new tanks and fish and let her pick them out. My gf got so good when I was doing saltwater that she could name corals when we went to the store (it's impressive when anyone can differentiate acropora from montipora and name them correctly right out of the gate). What I will warn you is that the things you might not think are a huge deal can be a huge deal to them and this goes for any couple not just men with fish and their girlfriends. Water on the floor is always a battle for me, but we've got it to the point of if I clean it up when it happens, there's no big deal. Anything that leaks needs to be fixed ASAP. I had a leaky UV sterilizer that put a jar under to catch the water and "fix later". This lasted about 2 weeks before I tore it apart and fixed it. Also electricity costs, even if you're splitting costs can be an issue. I've run into this with some of my roomates in the past too. sure you're splitting it, but it might not be as high if you didn;t have multiple tanks running, strong lights for whatever purposes, etc. Just general housekeeping and stepping in the shoes of the other person can really prevent a lot of battles. Always pick up after yourself. Good luck. I'm sure she'll turn around. We always joke about having a ray breeding facility/brewery/dog kennel. It's fun to have dreams.
 
Get her a tank and let her do what she wants, while giving her some advice along the way of course. ;-)



I wasn't into fish keeping as a hobby until I started dating my bf (back in june). He had an empty 29g he let me decorate it and pick out any fish I wanted. I got a 1 1/2" Fahaka Puffer that I let grow in the 29g for a couple months and now he is in a 55g @ 6 1/2" for a couple more weeks then he is going into a 90g where he will finish growing out and hopefully stay. I also now have Datnoids, Polypterus, Knife fish, and Eels.
 
bloodred;3772295; said:
sry im a noob,
can nemo survive in freshwater about 27degree celsius if i dont use cold saltwater??
Click to expand...
no. clownfish ("nemo") are tropical saltwater fish and will not be able to survive for any length of time in freshwater


i think the best way would be to just get her her own tank with lots of "pretty fish" and gradualy you should see her intrest in your tanks going up


problem solved
 
My better half likes my fish!
She likes the ugly ones mainly.
My tank has a Senegalise Bichir, which is her fave :)

She used to really like my red clawed crayfish too before it died.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
MonsterFishKeepers.com
Top Bottom