Parents.....

[bill88]

i still live with my parents. i still go college, so i can't move out yet. i always buy my own stuff with my own money and help pay the bills. i even get screwed at when im looking at fish on the net. still tho, i will always keep fish.

 

[bmxer4ever]

i was wondering how other mfker's parents think of our hobby. i am a 19yo and my parents think its a waste of money. i have 2 120 uk gallon tanks in my dining room and they say the fish i keep (breeding pair of dovii with fry and the other tank is a community tank with peaceful fishes) are dull and boring. the biggest insult they said was "fancy goldfish are much better than your stupid mean fish".

If you are breeding fish, are you making some money on them? That usually pleases a parent.
And tell them that every fish you raise is one less that has to be caught in the wild. Depends if they're into conservation I suppose!

My son and I are in this hobby together, in fact he was the one that told me about MFK...not everyone agrees on everything and that's no reason to put one persons viewpoint down, just because you don't agree. There's always common ground if everyone just listens, really listens to what is being said.....

Bill88, I believe you said your 19, if things are so wrong at home why don't you leave , start your own life.

I agree with what you're saying, apart from one point! Do you have any idea how high house prices/rental is in London??!! I havn't heard of many 19 year olds with a spare $200,000 in their pockets to buy a home.... No wonder ne has to stay at home!

he said he dont stay whit his parents

After reading this thread 3 times, I could find no mention of this...... Then before I could post this, my doubts were confirmed!!


Lets not forget, at the end of the day, being a kid and living at home only lasts so long.....being a parent is for life!

 

[Newt]

Way back when, as a teenager, my parents HATED my hobby. They called my room "the zoo" because I also had turtles, lizards, and a really cool giant frog along with about 5 fish tanks.

Now they think it's cool and even keep an eye out for big tanks (my mom was the one who told me about the 180 I got for free!)

 

[Alistriwen]

When I was 9 or so my parents got my sister and I our first fish tanks. It was a few months before her fish tank was in my room and another few before I had my 33, 5 and 10 gallon tanks set up. By the time I was 11 I had bred, raised and sold a variety of different livebearers with some help from my parents. My mom loved the fish themselves, their interesting behaviours, the breeding even. I remember her sitting with me watching patiently as my guppies gave birth, and she was the one who most often came to the fish store with me.

The people at Big Al's knew us both and there was even talk about giving me some kind of job. I read up on all sorts of stuff, and although I wasnt allowed to keep them, I knew a good deal about those nasty cichlids (I couldn't pronounce the word, but I could pick them out of a crowd ) We brought our little dog into the store and chatted with the staff, it was fun.

My dad wasnt as into it, but he helped me build a stand for my 33 gallon and we did other project oriented stuff together. He also helped me organize the breeding program so it would make more sense. Unfortunately, a power failure while we were on vacation mid-winter and moving houses killed off all of my fish and I just gave up when I was about 13.

Now I am 22, living on my own and my parents are pretty much the same. My mom wants to see the fish do their thing while my dad is anxious to know when I'm going to turn a profit on all the fish I've bred (I've yet to break the bad news to him about fish breeding ).

It's great if your parents support you and your hobby but if it isnt financially feasible, or if there are other good reasons why you shouldn't do it, you should be willing to yield to your parent's better judgement. The older you get, the more like them you will be, so just start agreeing with them now and save yourself a lot of hassle .

 

[Wolf3101]

Parents should be understanding and supporting of the childs hobby, even if it means having something in the house they don't really like. Give and take is needed on both sides but usually I find parents (not my own) just want to take with the same mentality as you have. My house, my rules, remember who picks what happens when you grow old, do you wanna move into their house when your older, would you like one little tank? I know as my parent grow old and become unable to live on their own I would be proud to have them live with me and not go into a nursing home. What ever hobby they have I will support and help with along the way. I do that now by spending hour on the internet helping them find what they want even though it doesn't interest me at all. I even pull over when my Mum spys an antique shop and spend hours looking around even though it bores me to tears.
They support my hobby so I support theirs, give and take.

From the point of view of the clinging leach...it's the host animals job to provide blood and living space. Unfortunatly the animal usually feels a bit differantly...

Young people LOVE to cry about bieng misunderstood and not bieng allowed to live thier own lives...It's a simple choice really and a life lesson you can take with you for the rest of your days. When you live WITH people...especially people who are supporting you then you respect the decisions that they make about the home they created. If you want to live by your own rules then by all means...go out and find and pay for your OWN home.

Granted the folks need a certian ammount of understanding... but you need to realize that THEY have lives as well...lives that have in most cases been put on hold to provide you with the creature comforts...I.E. computer...internet...food ...roof...ect. that you've become accoustomed to...

Something to think about the next time your crying..."Oh poor little me...."
How much of this would you still have if you were living on what you can afford? Be honest now...

One last thaught when trying to include me in THOSE kind of people...My kids have no such complaints. In fact we get along great and I have always done everything I could to support them in what ever they wanted to try as long as it didn't disrupt the rest of the familly or cut into bills that had to be paid. I have never been very conventional and I'm certianly not willing to change at this late date. If one of the kids needs new tires he gets them even though he burned up the last set playing drift king in the school parking lot. HOWEVER....none of them have the right to take all of this and then whine and complain about how bad they have it...Nor do any of my kids do it...they find it as idiotic as I do.

 

[bill88]

i will sell my dovii fry when they get about 1". i've made money before from selling my pbass and rainbow fishes. they said i shld use that money to buy goldfish. my parents are always negative about the things i do.

 

[BrtnBoy449]

my parents both really like my fish. Just sometimes my dad complains about when i buy a new tank or fish.

 

[PMK]

well that's rather harsh.

My family bi+ch a lot about my fish hobby all the time. At times, I feel like doing what PMK did and I can understand what drove him to that point.It's like I do not like their old folgy hobbies but they do not see me bi+ching about it. All I ask is the same kind of respect for another person hobbies in return. Some parents are just too ignorant to understand and lack communication skills. Now that I graduated and making my own money I don't give a crap what they have to say about my hobbies because I have lost respect for them over the years. Elders need to realize that they cannot reverse the effect of scarring people with the things they said over the years.

Just so you guys dont think im a total A#$hole we actually laughs when i say that so it not being rude its kind of like a joke betweeen us. But he still is serious about me getting rid of some tank and I am still serious when i tell him that.

 

[Nova 8]

From the point of view of the clinging leach...it's the host animals job to provide blood and living space. Unfortunatly the animal usually feels a bit differantly...

Young people LOVE to cry about bieng misunderstood and not bieng allowed to live thier own lives...It's a simple choice really and a life lesson you can take with you for the rest of your days. When you live WITH people...especially people who are supporting you then you respect the decisions that they make about the home they created. If you want to live by your own rules then by all means...go out and find and pay for your OWN home.

Granted the folks need a certian ammount of understanding... but you need to realize that THEY have lives as well...lives that have in most cases been put on hold to provide you with the creature comforts...I.E. computer...internet...food ...roof...ect. that you've become accoustomed to...

Something to think about the next time your crying..."Oh poor little me...."
How much of this would you still have if you were living on what you can afford? Be honest now...

One last thaught when trying to include me in THOSE kind of people...My kids have no such complaints. In fact we get along great and I have always done everything I could to support them in what ever they wanted to try as long as it didn't disrupt the rest of the familly or cut into bills that had to be paid. I have never been very conventional and I'm certianly not willing to change at this late date. If one of the kids needs new tires he gets them even though he burned up the last set playing drift king in the school parking lot. HOWEVER....none of them have the right to take all of this and then whine and complain about how bad they have it...Nor do any of my kids do it...they find it as idiotic as I do.

Where did I windge and cry hard done by? I think your reading what you want into my posts. I never said once I'm hard done by or anything of the sort. I did say I don't like my Dads mentality, I still follow it though, whats wrong with that? Do I have to agree with everything he does just cause I live under his roof?
My parents are great and fair and I never said otherwise, I listen to what they say cause at the end of the day it is their house. BUT, the creature comforts that I've became so accustomed to are mine, don't you read? I pay for the computer, internet, I don't eat at home, I use to pay 1/4 of all bills but my Dad stopped that and jacked up my board instead. I will also soon be paying for the phone. Sure they pay for the roof above my haed, which is very nice, but parents have to supply a roof to their kids. Sure I could move out but its too cheap living at home to warrent moving out without enough money to buy my own house.
As for my parents putting their lives on hold, that was their choice not mine. That is a BS statement to use against a kid because that is something the kid cant control. If they didn't want to lose 30-35 years of their life they shouldn't of had kids, its that simple.

"Something to think about the next time your crying..."Oh poor little me...."
How much of this would you still have if you were living on what you can afford? Be honest now..."

All of it, and thats the truth, believe it or not I don't care. I live at home so I can save and get an easier start to life, this decision was my parents and also the same reason my 25yr old brother has moved back into home. So he can save as much money whilst his new home is getting built.

Your kids do burnout in the school parking lot and you buy them new tyres, no wounder they never complain, they got it easy. But what lessons are you teaching them, its ok to do dangerous acts in a school area where kids are and that you'll even replace their tyres. Can you say bad parenting, there is nothing else to discribe it. My parents have never paid for a tank of fuel for my car let alone tyres and if I was doing burnouts at a school they'd... well I don't know what they'd do but I'd be in ****.

BTW I don't appreciate being compared to a leech, I am not, nor never have been expensive for my parents to have. My fish keeping hobby started after I started working and they have only ever bought me one fish which was a birthday gift. When I was young I didn't have any hobbies. My parents bought me a bike for christmas and I was happy, but when I got a puncher and needed it fixed/replaced I did it and payed for it. It was my bike and Dad made me pay for the up keep, it has always been this way. They get me started then I had to continue with my pocket money.

 

[Wolf3101]

Where did I windge and cry hard done by? I think your reading what you want into my posts. I never said once I'm hard done by or anything of the sort. I did say I don't like my Dads mentality, I still follow it though, whats wrong with that? Do I have to agree with everything he does just cause I live under his roof?
My parents are great and fair and I never said otherwise, I listen to what they say cause at the end of the day it is their house. BUT, the creature comforts that I've became so accustomed to are mine, don't you read? I pay for the computer, internet, I don't eat at home, I use to pay 1/4 of all bills but my Dad stopped that and jacked up my board instead. I will also soon be paying for the phone. Sure they pay for the roof above my haed, which is very nice, but parents have to supply a roof to their kids. Sure I could move out but its too cheap living at home to warrent moving out without enough money to buy my own house.
As for my parents putting their lives on hold, that was their choice not mine. That is a BS statement to use against a kid because that is something the kid cant control. If they didn't want to lose 30-35 years of their life they shouldn't of had kids, its that simple.

"Something to think about the next time your crying..."Oh poor little me...."
How much of this would you still have if you were living on what you can afford? Be honest now..."

All of it, and thats the truth, believe it or not I don't care. I live at home so I can save and get an easier start to life, this decision was my parents and also the same reason my 25yr old brother has moved back into home. So he can save as much money whilst his new home is getting built.

Your kids do burnout in the school parking lot and you buy them new tyres, no wounder they never complain, they got it easy. But what lessons are you teaching them, its ok to do dangerous acts in a school area where kids are and that you'll even replace their tyres. Can you say bad parenting, there is nothing else to discribe it. My parents have never paid for a tank of fuel for my car let alone tyres and if I was doing burnouts at a school they'd... well I don't know what they'd do but I'd be in ****.

BTW I don't appreciate being compared to a leech, I am not, nor never have been expensive for my parents to have. My fish keeping hobby started after I started working and they have only ever bought me one fish which was a birthday gift. When I was young I didn't have any hobbies. My parents bought me a bike for christmas and I was happy, but when I got a puncher and needed it fixed/replaced I did it and payed for it. It was my bike and Dad made me pay for the up keep, it has always been this way. They get me started then I had to continue with my pocket money.

Your own post sums up most of your problem...you assume WAY too much and you think the world revolves entirly around you. My comments were directed to a LOT of people posting on this thread and not just you...

The Sationed and regulated drifting event at the school was safe and well supervised. My complaint was only that I had to pony up the gelt for new tires so he could get to work and back. He baught his own car...modifyed it on his own and has had a job from 15 years old on...

If you get married you'll have to taylor what you'd like to do with what your wife wants to do and then eventually when you have kids you'll have thier needs to think about.

In time they will grow into teens complaining about how the nasty old man wont let them get this tank or that tank all without concidering what it's doing to the rest of the familly who dont share thier love of fish OR the huge electrical bills.

Reasonable depends a great deal on your point of view...