ok so i did more research and it is now down to either a grammostola pulchra or grammostola pulchripes.
which one?
common names are brazilian black or chaco gold knee.
ok sweet. went to the lfs today and they had the following, I AM PROBABLY WONT BUY ONE OF THEESE, I WILL PROBABLY STILL GO CHACO, thees are just in case one of theese is a better choice:
goliath bird eater T. blondi
singapore blue
brazilian fire red
pinktoes
rosehairs
chilean copper
chaco goldknee
and some type of baboon, it was tiny so i couldnt tell what type, it was in a pill bottle, so i dunno.
so are any of thoose better then the chaco goldknee i was looking at.
I vote the Chaco, for sure avoid the birdeater and the Singapore, aggressive spiders are a pain to deal with especially when they are determined to bite you atleast once before you finish cleaning their cage.
k sweet. i will have to see if they have a female chaco. look for a thread on my new chaco in a few weeks, i have to wait for the A. chalcodes to die first( i wish i could just put him down, he ripped off another leg, hes down to 4 and wont stop trying to find a female)
I agree with the chaco gold. I would probably go with a brazilian black personally, but the chaco gold is pretty cool and sounds more like what you're going for.
The 2 books you listed are pretty much the standard books anyone should start with and you can also check out Stan Schultz's (auther of the tarantula keeper's guide) website here: http://people.ucalgary.ca/~schultz/spiders.html
His site also has a handy list of tarantula names you can use for reference, you don't have to memorize them all! The more you read about them the more names will stick.
Also http://www.arachnoboards.com/ab/index.php where I'm sure you're more likely to find someone with a chaco gold to ask questions.
It's not updated anymore but http://www.bighairyspiders.com/ has some good info about some species.
And probably my favorite and an amazing amount of everything spiders, http://www.arachnology.be/Arachnology.html
And for some amazing photos of many species check out Rick West's site; http://www.birdspiders.com/index.php
I also have this one saved but don't recall how extensive the info is http://www.beccastarantulas.com/
*edit
Is your male just in a need to breed frenzy? Have you tried finding someone to trade with or sell to that needs a male?
oh yeah i have all of thoose websites bookmarked allready. along with 5 others. if i cant have books i do have websites. also i might wind up with a brazilian black, they are the same except for price and looks. the brazilian black is $35 cheaper then the chaco and with the gift certificate i have she would be only $30 and the chaco would be like $70